TIDINGS FROM THE KRAKEN

     Love and Kisses
from the north sea!
I am what you call a kraken, a creature over 50 ft long
I am rather rare... have you heard of me?

     Well, I am a rather eccentric species
Some say I immensely resemble a giant squid
I am a female adult now with my tentacles over 20 ft long
But I assure you, I was much smaller as a kid

     And, it's true my eyes are 8 inches tall
that must be odd to you, them being translucent red
You know, I have tried several times to converse with you
humans, but this is was all you said: 

     "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
You know saying hello would not have been a crime
though you would think by now I'd be used to this
I mean, I get the same reaction every time

     Some have said my eyes are too big
they create an image of distortion
but when you look at my body as a whole
they really are quite in proportion

     and some have spread rumors about me
that I attack ships... this is not true
I merely bump into them, accidently
when I get preoccupied in the ocean blue

     I admit, the first time I saw one of your ships
I may have acted a bit like an annoying bug
But your little ships were soooooo cute!
So tiny and adorable, I just had to give it a hug

     I'm probably quite over bearing to you
but let it be known I have a capacious heart
perhaps you wouldn't be frightened if you got to know me
hmmm... lets see where should I start?

     Well.. I enjoy swimming
I'm a vegetarian who loves to gorge on sea-weed
I am currently studying oceanography
at the BSCU (Big Sea Creature University)

     And although we will probably never meet
or never confront each other eye to eye
but if you should see me
Please, do not scream as you sail by!

     Uye! All your screaming and yelling
How much do you think I can take?
Have forgotten how sounds travels
like you, Krakens get headache

     Why are you so aghast
Is it written in your library's text?
That I am this cannibalistic creature
or is it a inferiority complex?

     Well, I really don't have time discuss psycho-babble
I have a sea party I must attend
But I hope that you understand my point of view a little better
Remember the Kraken is your friend!