COMMERCIAL FOR DR DOCTOR WONK'S SIDE SHOW FUN PARK (character monologue)

Come one!
Come two!
Come three!
And then some
to the greatest show alive and dead!
It's Dr. Doctor Wonk's Side Show Fun Park
We've got
troubadours for the troubled!
We've got
pompadours for the pompous!
Something for everyone!
IT'S DONKEY MADNESS!!!!
Come kiss my ass!
Some call him Anal, but we call him George
and he just loves affection!!!
IT'S 100% ASININE!
Infections! Infections!
The latest and hippest thing since the pet rock!
Pet Infections!
Nurture your infection and it'll last a life time.
Catch yours today!
Only sold at Dr. Doctor Wonk's Side Show Fun Park!
Catch a cold
catch a ball
or perhaps you'd like the catch of today
see voo play, fish filet?!?!
Feeling misunderstood?
Come visit our Puberty Exhibit
Feel the conflict!
The drama!
As seen on TV!
Sensationalistic and stimulating as well.
IT'S PUBERISTIC!!!!!
Now! Every Wednesday is Pasta Night!
Every Friday is Pasta Night
Every Monday, Tuesday….
Hell! Everyday is Pasta Night
at Dr. Doctor Wonk's Side Show Fun Park!

Bring your red-headed chow chow
and get absolutely
nothing off admission!!!
All others pay full price
and the people sing:
Dr. Doctor Wonk's Side Show Fun Park! The Doctor is in!
Dr. Doctor Wonk's Side Show Fun Park! Let the fun begin!