WHISPERS OF A KITCHEN DISCOURSE 

Would you believe me
if I said
that I was giving up on love.
Wasted day dreams of 
entrancing glances
understanding
or ha! that ugly nine letter word
happiness
No more terribly happy!
no more wonderful, charming, gaze, awe- sigh
I will. Hide! Hide! Hide!
in my writing like an artist in black.
I will close the doors and stay within the walls of these four quarters. 
Let them find me
if they should be so bored as to look
let them find me! Buried under piles of unfinished words
talking to glossy dust bunnies, crazed and lured
and they will say,  "this was the woman who gave up on love,
what a shame oh for shame!"
Love, love, love, like sunshine, like a rainbow, like a flower- gagged!
for what do I need "love" for?
Why waste time on some  abstract concept 
born from faery tales and fantasy!
and impossible ideals of perfection!?
and yet... something would be missing..... a puzzle piece
Naked! But I don't feel free
Naked! and I don't wish to run through the fields
How I'd love to sleep!
Wake up only to have rid myself till I am clean of these mistrusts and doubt, so I may be! 
that nine letter word
so I may find love within