#3

I realize now it's time to take action
HA! As if I haven't been here before
That this is more then the casual adoration that won't go away
When all the flashing red arrows screaming solution
Seem to be pointing towards you.

Would it be all so decadent to confess what we are thinking?
It's all very frightning and exciting and yes
I think it's time to let you read the secret poems I've been writing in your honour
All the poems that tell the stories of the
unfinished paintings and repetitive circles of thought
Things that we could've done and could've said (soul searching)
Realized too late and after we had parted
Spinning around me, with regret but they are gone now

Clarity! For I now know what I must do.
I know now what I want 
that it's not in the others I have chased and who have denied me
It's not in the others that invaded my fantasies, 
and rest on the pedestals like passing fancies do... 
It's you. 

And no, we are not perfect
We'll still have twisted vines and problems
that we allowed to grow wild and ignored, dangling over our heads
Like unresolved memories that make us cringe in regret 
when they slap us in the ass and in rememberance.
Would it all be so decadent to deal with them.. one by one
and what if we took a little more time 
to make time and take time to do things slowly.
Slowly. Not rushed and frenzied , 
nor fear driven and motionless...
drowning in a false sense of safety or what we think we have to be
Moderation! This is what we need!

I am so afraid of taking that chance again. For I know.
there may be some who may call us fools and destructive
(like this small voice inside me that drips with valid hesistation)
For there were so many things we didn't know
But I really believe. We... could be together
Without secretly wishing things were better
Without keeping things inside and to ourselves

I do not deny my gross sense of caution 
but what if we dared to not repeat our mistakes
That slowly strangled our sense of self-confidence and instinct
Could it be we are a work in progress? Yes!
I realize that now.
That it's not always going to be smooth sailing on this pristine ocean
Of perfection and what I thought things were supposed to be

And so I write this to you, my dear 
because it is more dominant then the voice of caution
Because I think we've got a chance

Now we embark!
Let us commence our journey once again 
but this time into something more then average complacency
Let us accept that fact that we won't always understand it
Let us accept the fact that we are afraid- sometimes
Let us accept the fact that we love

Now is the time to take action
This doesn't mean another round of 
repression and binge on this affection is in order
lets just take small steps  
and the accept what will be.