QUESTIONS AND SOULMATES

Sometimes I crave to ask you 
what really happened this summer, past 
As if I was not a witness that partook in the affair
as if it was not my hands, that reached for yours time and again 
and yours for mine....

Now that we are great friends and single, 
it seems time never seems to allow me 
to indulge in my dangerous. inquisitive. side

all the questions of love and soul that I collect & hide 
and vent in my diary only leads to the present 
which only leaves us to reminisce, cautiously! carefully! 
careful not to confess any less, then memories, philosophize old times and laughs, 

while the pressure of maintaining our self-proclaimed title 
[-SOULMATES-] permanently etched and tattooed in my mind- 
twirls my existence around & around, hovering over me, like a 
storm cloud (sometimes)
for I feel I must defend it? 
for I feel I must define it? 
for I feel I must preserve it... 
bewildered and mystified by it , and why?

why does this fantastical and mad experience of destiny and love intrigue me so
How I wish there was a book, some guidelines, that would explain it all
for strange were our lips, that spoke of marriage?
Strange were our lips that spoke of words bitter and sweet?- 
fighting over little things that became big things and bigger...
Strange were our lips when we said "I Love You" and meant it?
and why? and how? 

an open hearted book, unjaded but realistic
to explain the concept of love, for I do believe it applied to us
but can not decide if it still applies
if it's still alive, inside, even though we are not together....
after all can't love be forever, even if two lovers are apart?

and why now do I see where we went wrong?
and why now do I see how we could've done better
what we could have done to stay together
why now when it's all over?
and we both agreed we should not date again

Why is it everytime I hear that hollering whistle of the 10:00 train , 
I think of you - flashback- and our embraces at the station?
to feeling love, but not elation. 
sometimes happy for our departure, 
to satisfy my sometimes needed solitude.
and now that we are apart & in the present
now that I have this time to myself, so often in excess
I often wonder what is coming, what is next.? 
what do I want? 
As if it is our duty as two destined souls, to always love?!

and since we are two supposed destined souls, 
should we be lovers again?