The Sour Gift of Consequence (last edited 4/11/00)

Sometimes.... 
yes sometimes I just. don't. have. the answers
and sometimes
yes sometimes I just don't know how to respond
to react , what to believe , what to make of my emotions
and so note that this silence does not mean that I am not thinking
even though it seems like I have nothing to say 

there doesn't seem to be a solution to this
that does not have it's consequence?
a shame
for then and only then will we say what we're really really thinking, 
opposed to this cautious light talk which we've perfected to an art.... 
 
So what IS going through your head?
Couldn't we laugh at the irony, 
How funny it would be if you were just thinking the same thing?

It's so hard these days 
when the endless and honest babbles are being replaced by nothing left to say
and this silence... twists within me... 
burning slowly 
 
could it be our platonic honesty --- missing
the fact that I once could say anything to you and now I hold back....
I don't know 
but yes ... this is what I miss
 
This daring that's now cautious
This Life that's now just safe...
Dear god! Why?!
why is it that we've lost our sense of danger
is it because we don't know how to handle it
is it to avoid another long drawn out conversation that goes no where... 
is it because we now realize the consequence of consequence

Is there something you want to tell me
then tell me! 
do it and say it -no... don't think about it
let it out before our this love withers into
nothing more 
then a polite state 
of acquaintance- two strangers sleeping together
and this unspoken tension tears us apart.