FOR
LOVE OF FANTASY
By Michele Kaplan
“Just as one has the power to dream of better times…”
INT. THE COMPUTER
/ TV ROOM IN CARMA D. MCKINLEY'S HOUSE. DAY.
CARMA D. MCKINLEY (mid-late twenties, female, in pajamas, writer.) is singing rather blankly "What I Did For Love" - from the Broadway show, The Chorus Line. The music and lyrics are coming from her computer karaoke program. She uses a pen as a microphone, and is staring at the monitor. Carma is very ill, though it’s not fatal, she has been housebound with illness for over a month, and thus has a severe case of “cabin fever”.
Fades into a fantasy, where Carma is singing on stage and to an audience. The many colored stage lights are shining down on her. She doesn’t necessary sing well, but she can hold a tune. The song ends and she snaps out of it.
Back to the room where she is sitting at her computer. She stares blankly at her computer monitor and ponders.
Opening credits appear and movie begins.
Carma is sitting at her computer attempting to write a story. She wants nothing more then intellectual / creative stimulation and amusement.
CARMA:
Enough with the fantasies already! Crying out loud. Alright, that's it. I… I… I am going to channel my energy and write… something… okay… good… idea. So what exactly do I want to do with this. I need a name. I need a purpose.
In an all blue room, there is a line up of woman, that are potential characters in Carma’s mind. From right to left, there is: TOLA-SVETLANA (mid 40’s, female, appears to be quiet and introverted, but in reality, she has more power then people would ever expect.), EXOTICA (mid 40’s, female, not necessarily drop dead gorgeous but has a certain dynamic quality about her that makes her incredibly sexy, real name Sydney. She delights in playing mind games, and studying human behavior and motivation, and is a bit of a genius at it, but all the same uses it as an excuse to over-intellectualize attraction and really fears true intimacy.) ANTOINETTE & BERNADETTE (female, early 40's, cynical, but inseparable lesbian couple. Both woman are very much into style, and seem to have a lot of confidence in themselves. They love each other but have a hard time tolerating the rest of the world.) ABSINTHE (early 40’s, female , She is a drug addict, though you can tell that if she wasn't on drugs, she would look very attractive. It is very few that get to see her true nature and vulnerability.) ABORIGINIE (late 40's- early 50's, female. A woman who is tired of thankless philanthropy and longs to follow her own dreams, but is afraid to.) JOSEPHINE BUOY (female, mid-late 40's, a writer.) As the main character dismisses each name/character, that character walks off, disgruntled in her own way.
CARMA
(V.O)
Hmmm… something… nothing outrageous like Tola-Svetlana or ..uh… Exotica, Latex Vixen of the night! … or something as such, but nothing terribly plain like Antoinette or Bernadette…
Carma scratches her neck, sighs, and thinks for a bit. She looks at all four corners of the room. She coughs up into a tissue and scratches her arm. Carma looks at an old color advertisement that is hanging on the wall that reads "L’Absinthe Terminus".
Absinthe. But Abby for short? Abby… Aborigine! Aborigine? Hmmm… nah. Ooh N… N… Neh… Beh… Buoy… Hmmm.. Buoy? Buoy. Ok, I can work with that… now, a first name … hmmm…
CARMA:
Josephina… Josephine? Josephine… Buoy. Now that works. Wait. Does it work? Does it REALLY work? Do I really care? Yes! Now… ooh look at that.
Carma takes a look outside the window and is distracted by the people frolicking outside. The sun is slowly setting it is near dinner time. She coughs and snaps out of her daze.
What was I doing again?
(A BEAT)
Oh, this can’t be good if I am already bored of this story, and it hasn’t even started!
Restless and discontent, Carma slowly drifts off into a fantasy. She coughs , yawns and then smiles.
At the Folleywood Awards: A black-tie award show. Carma imagines herself amongst all the famous and latest actors, directors and such. There is a multitude of camera flashes, as the famous people make their way along the long red carpet, fans cheer along the side. MARY-MARY CALUMNY (female, mid 50's, a fashion/gossip reporter.) stops Carma to interview her. Mary-Mary Calumny turns to the camera and flashes a smile.
MARY-MARY
CALUMNY:
This is Mary-Mary Calumny, queen of all things gossip, and let me tell you, the stars are out tonight! We are here with none other then the famous, or shall I say infamous, har har har, Carma D. McKinley! Carma! Your dress! I love it! Who are we wearing?
Carma is nominated for Best Movie of The Year. Her category comes up. Camera goes to podium as ACTRESS #1 (female, late 40’s, dressed in an elaborate evening-gown ) reads the nominees.
ACTRESS
#1:
And the nominees for Best Movie of The Year are : Carma D. McKinley for… The Art of Pews.
There is a stir in the audience.
The Art of Pews? What the hell is that?!
Carma is sitting at her computer, contemplating her daydream.
CARMA:
Okay … okay… not The Art of Pews… but… The Art of…
Carma scratches her arm and rubs her eyes.
The Art of Itch… The Big Itch… The One Itch… The only itch… the sole itch… The Soul’s Itch! Ha ha ha! Woo… YEAH!
Carma takes a deep breath collects her thoughts.
Okay…
Back to the fantasy. Actress #1 puts on her glasses.
ACTRESS
#1:
Carma D. McKinley, for The Soul’s Itch.
Applause. A clip of the movie is shown on a big film screen behind the actress.
Clip of Carma D. McKinley’s film: The Soul’s Itch. BILLOWS (male , 40's. Has a habit of not hearing things he does not wish to hear.) & STELLA (40'S, female, strong, is not afraid to take risks in life.) are in a field talking to each other. Stella has her bags packed, in the near distance there is a train station, which is where she is headed. She is leaving town, and Billows is upset about it, for she is also leaving Billows. Stella and Billows are lovers.
BILLOWS:
Stella! Wait! Stop! Just… just… stop for one second. This is… this is … is.. insanity! Look at me.
(A BEAT)
Stella, you can’t just get up and go like this!
STELLA:
No, Billows. YOU can’t get up and go like this. But I can.
BILLOWS:
Oh! Right. How could I forget, it’s all about you. To hell with anyone else’s feelings or… or… responsibility! How foolish of me to assume it a necessary element in life!
(A BEAT)
What about your job, your house? What about me, Stella? Were you just going to leave without telling me? Did I mean nothing to you? Was our relationship nothing?!
STELLA:
Jesus, Billows. I quit my job days ago! The house? You know I sold it last week. And as far as me ‘leaving without telling you’, I told you, I’ve been telling you for months now. You just didn’t want to listen.
(A BEAT)
Goodbye Billows.
Stella leaves for the train.
BILLOWS:
STELLA!
The film clip ends. The audience applauds. Camera goes to Carma, she smiles.
ACTRESS
#1:
Iggy Katsune, for I Am The Roof Top, I am The Chimney.
Clip of Iggy Katsune’s film: I am the roof top, I am the chimney. The main character in the movie, POVERTY (male, 40’s, an artist who feels that in order to create art, one must suffer.) is dressed in all black and is on the rooftop of a very run-down looking house. It is raining heavily. He is drenched. The other character is RABBIT (female, 40’s, also an artist who feels that in order to create art, one must suffer.) Both Poverty and Rabbit are openly polygamous lovers, and have been together for a good 10 years now. They are not necessarily happy together, but the despair fuels their art, so they stay together. Poverty raises his hands up to the sky, as he shouts at the top of his lungs.
POVERTY:
I am the roof top! I am the chimney!
Rabbit comes out and looks up to see Poverty on the roof.
RABBIT:
Well koo-koo-ca-choo! Now get your ass down here before you get struck by lightning.
INT. FOLLEYWOOD
AWARDS. NIGHT.
The clip ends. The audience applauds. Some are laughing at the joke. Some don't get it, and think it’s the most idiotic thing they've ever heard, while others nod knowingly as if it made some deep and profound statement. We see IGGY KATSUNE (male, 50's, very hip and somewhat pretentious, involved in that ultra hip elitist scene of writers.)
ACTRESS
#1:
Eva Wielder, for Café dans
Clip of Eva Wielder’s film: Café
dans
He died, 3 years ago. He got hit, by a bus…
(A BEAT)
but you
know that,
Yes. Yes, I do. I just enjoy watching your lips say it.
Oh
Oui. Errrrrow!
Everyone applauds. We see EVA WIELDER (female, 40's, follows tradition not because she agrees with the beliefs, but is afraid to go against the grain, for fear of what others might say. Her films are the one time where she is able to let loose) smiling.
ACTRESS
#1:
And finally, Don-Yaro Berger, for Veril’s Triumph.
EXT. BATTLE
FIELD. DAY.
A clip of Don-Yaro Berger’s film: Veril’s Triumph. DON-YARO BERGER.(male, late 40's. a writer that writes for the masses, that spits out these hit-formula action/war movies, that are receive more praise then they really deserve. His characters are often 2 dimensional and his plots are VERY predictable. He is also the kind of man that hits on everyone woman with a heartbeat, and thinks he is so just suave and desirable, but he really isn’t.) The scene is in the middle of a battle. There are lots of grays, gun shots and dead bodies laying in the field. The remaining soldiers continue to fight. VERIL (male, mid 40’s, big, strong, muscular yet sensitive.) and AMADEUS (male , 40's, small frame, incredibly intelligent, cultured.) are best friends. They are fighting side by side in the trenches. The movie is a typical overly dramatic action/war story.
AMADEUS:
VERIL!
VERIL:
What?!
AMADEUS:
There is something I must tell you, before it's too late!
VERIL:
Can it wait? I’m a little busy here?!
AMADEUS:
Veril, I’m your brother!
VERIL:
What?
AMADEUS:
Your blood…
Amadeus is suddenly shot.
brother…
He collapses , very much near death and is taken away on a stretcher.
VERIL:
NO!!!!
Veril raises his hands to the sky and sobs.
Son of a bitch!
Veril goes charging out of the trenches and into the field.
INT. FOLLEYWOOD
AWARDS. NIGHT.
Clip ends. We see Don-Yaro Berger. Audience applauds. Actress #1 waits for the applause to die down, and opens the envelope.
ACTRESS
#1:
And the winner for Best Movie of The Year goes to … The Soul’s …
CARMA:
Wait. Best movie of the year? I don’t know. That’s kinda pompous, really. Best… Best Independent Film of The Year… yes yes… now that sounds better. Accomplished, but not over the top.
INT. FOLLEYWOOD
AWARDS. NIGHT.
Actress #1 opens the envelope.
ACTRESS
#1:
The winner for this years, Best Independent Film, goes to, Carma D. McKinley for The Soul’s Itch!
Carma D. McKinley gets up from her seat, gleaming. Everyone cheers and as she is about to walk towards the stage to accept her award.
End of daydream. Carma itches her nose and sighs.
CARMA:
What am I doing? Crying out loud! I mean… all right, all right. I understand that I’ve been housebound for over a month now, and there has been a … well, somewhat lack of social human contact. So maybe that’s its. Maybe the mind compensates for social human contact … when there is a severe lack of … with fantasy? Its like… like… these little mini-movies of the mind, that fill the spaces that interactions with society, would normally fill. Ooh, that was deep. Okay, so having established that, I suppose, as long as they don’t hurt anyone, and I am fully aware, that I know that there is a difference between these fantasies and reality, then there is no real harm in them. I mean essentially, I am just fantasizing about success. Is that sooooooooo bad?
(A BEAT)
Christ! But I won’t achieve success by just fantasizing about it!
Carma yawns.
I’m just tired I guess…
Carma itches her arms, coughs, and looks at the dim lamp on her desk. The sun has set further. She yawns.
Maybe it’s the lighting in this room. There needs to be more light and… and color. Too much beige and creams and safe colors. Boldness! That’s what I need! I… I need a lot of things.
Carma gets up from her seat. She goes to turn on TV, only to find that the cable is out.
Dag nammit! I need visual
stimulation! I’m hungry! What do I have to eat?
Carma is sitting on the chair watching a movie from the VCR, the cable is still out and the movie is closing towards the end. She finishes her snack and goes back to the computer.
CARMA:
Ack… itchy itchy itchy.
(A BEAT)
Alright. I watched the movie. I came! I conquered! I kicked ass. No, serious… focus… concentrate.
(A BEAT)
I studied the dialogue, the color
psychology factors, and now I am ready to write.
Carma clicks on the icon on her computer desktop to start up her word processor.
Bring it on baby! Bring it on!
Carma gets a sudden urge to go to the bathroom.
Dag nammit!
Carma gets up and starts walking towards the bathroom.
How am I supposed to be creative, when my bladder
Carma leaps into the air like a ballerina, dramatically and for her own amusement.
is running wild… wild I tell you! like the wind! Whoosh!
(A BEAT)
Okay, probably shouldn’t do that on a full bladder.
Carma chuckles to herself.
I need to get out.
Carma is on the toilet, though technically we only see her from the stomach up. She looks at her face in the mirror. Despite swollen glands, and a face that is pale and has slight blotchy rashes on the cheek area, she is keeping a good sense of humor, about her looks.
Hey… not too shabby. Alright.
Carma chuckles and lifts her chin up.
Ew? Is that cellulite? Who put that there? Dear mother of god! Either I am swollen, or that is one double chin in the making! Awe man, I should have quit while I was ahead.
Carma chuckles. She starts to daydream / philosophize while on the toilet.
Fades into fantasy. There is one chair where Carma is sitting, facing the interviewer. THE INTERVIEWER (female, 40's) is interviewing / making a documentary about Carma’s new story, Josephina!
INTERVIEWER:
We are talking with Carma D. McKinley, writer and director of ‘The Soul’s Itch’, new story, ‘Josephina!’. A story about a woman named Josephine Buoy, who spends her days in excess of fantasy. Carma, when you wrote this, was this a statement against fantasizing?
CARMA:
Oh, quite the contrary. I believe fantasy can be a wonderful and healthy part of the human existence. But, like many things in life, it is best in moderation, otherwise it becomes a … danger , for lack of a better term, and that’s where Josephine Buoy, the main character, really went wrong, at least in my opinion.
INTERVIEWER:
Lets delve a bit deeper into Josephine’s psyche. What was the main problem, in your opinion , that really led to Josephine’s eventual, well, not to be melodramatic, but… destruction.
CARMA:
Well, I think one problem that Josephine had , she was not able to … distinguish between reality and fantasy? Hmmm, is that it? Actually, that’s a rather strong statement. Maybe its the more the fact, that she could distinguish, but she just didn't want to. Yes, I think that's more it. I mean, lets take her relationship with Edward for an example. Edward, was a person who she saw every day for five years. But in reality, they maybe exchanged a couple polite sentences. There was no real love affair going on. They were barely even acquaintances. ‘Good morning, Josephine’, ‘Good morning, Edward’, nothing deep or anything that would really hint of a mutual real life attraction. Yet, she would daydream and fantasize about him… as if they were lovers!?
INTERVIEWER:
Well, it was clear in the movie that she was attracted to him. Is it all so wrong to daydream about the people we are attracted to?
CARMA:
Oh, no. Not at all.
INTERVIEWER:
So, what was the problem?
CARMA:
Well, it's one thing to daydream, about a person we find attractive, from time to time, but it's another thing, when you place that person in a fantasy, on this grand, larger then life pedestal. When you make them something that they are not, something that they could never possibly live up to in real life, it becomes dangerous. Josephine started to use the fantasies as… an escape from the despair of her life, almost like putting her head in the sand… she… she buried her head from what she did not want to see or hear or feel. To the point where, she really began to believe that Edward was all she had imagined him to be.
(A BEAT)
Ooh! Or maybe, she just really needed to believe that Edward was like that in real life. She was just looking for someone or something to believe in? It could be many things really.
(A BEAT)
But of course, he could never be as glorious she had made him to be in her mind, because she was dreaming of perfection… of the unattainable… and that’s why, when she got to know him a bit better, she was crushed with disappointment.
INTERVIEWER:
That’s an interesting perspective on the character. You mentioned earlier that she needed to believe that Edward was as she had imagined him to be. Why do you think that is?
CARMA:
It’s not so much about Edward, or even Josephine… perhaps, its about human behavior in general. I think a lot of people go throughout their lives, with this feeling that something is missing, there is this… this void… this hole in themselves… they don’t feel complete. And at some point in our lives, we are taught that if you find a mate, that you will feel complete, and that this is love, this is what it’s all about. And I… I think Josephine had that hole. That empty feeling… that… that incessant voice that kept on asking… Christ, is this it? There has to be more then… then this? But what? Where does one begin?
(A BEAT)
Like many people, she turned to this perfect idea of love, that our society seems to be so obsessed with. Surely, if she had love, if someone loved her? Really really loved her? Things would be okay. She wouldn’t feel this emptiness in her life.
(A BEAT)
But, maybe at the same time, it scared her to get so close, to want something, to need something so badly, and so… she made this grand subconscious compromise between the side of her that longed for this perfect love, and the side of her that shunned away love, because it feared intimacy or even possibly reality. And the outcome? This glorious fantasy, dripping with romantic perfection! There, she could feel the emotions, the fairytale and in a way feel loved, just enough to make her giddy and secure, just enough where she could take that little vacation from her life, like a drug, but at the same time, never having to get too close to another human being. It was all without risk, at least it was in the blueprint. In theory it’s all very “safe”.
INTERVIEWER:
Hmmm. But the reality of it , it is not safe. At least that’s the message that the movie gave off.
CARMA:
Exactly. And we can really see this towards the end of the story. I mean, everything that she was relying on to keep her going in her life, not only is it gone, but she is faced with the realization that it never was real.
(A BEAT)
Really, in the end of the movie, I think what she learns is that , you can spend your days, hiding from your reality, with all these fantasies and daydreams, but in the end, reality is going to catch up with you. And all the problems and responsibilities you ignored, all the consequences of your actions, its all going to avalanche as this one big overwhelming blob of mess and chaos.
Carma snaps out of her fantasy and shakes her head yes.
Wow … that was deep. I should record my thoughts while on the toilet. Oh my god! That’s disgusting, crying out loud!
Carma chuckles.
I need to get out of this house.
Carma exits the bathroom and goes over to turn on the TV. The cable is back on. She lays down on the couch. CHANNEL 45 ANNOUNCER (male, 30-40’s) is heard.
CHANNEL
45 ANNOUNCER: (V.O.)
Thank you for watching Channel 45’s Cinema Hour. We now return to Witness to An Affair, staring Jonathan Gabert and Hedda Jones…
The movie comes on, and Carma hears it only as background music. She stares at the artwork on the wall and chuckles to herself. Carma yawns and curls up on the couch.
CARMA:
Exotica, Latex Vixen on the Night…
HA! That was funny.
Scene fades into fantasy. It’s right at the end of the Folleywood Awards and Actress #1 is announcing the winner for Best Independent Film of The Year.
ACTRESS
#1:
And the winner is… I am the
rooftop! I am the kidney, uh… chimney … Iggy Katsune!
Everyone applauds.
Fantasy fades back to reality. Carma snaps out it, gets up from the couch, stretches and turns off the TV. She goes back to the computer to type. She speaks out loud as she types. She is inspired.
CARMA:
Ha! I got it!
Carma starts to type.
Josephine Buoy,
entered the room in her gown. No.
Josephine made her entrance in her renaissance inspired gown, beautiful with
shades of dark
Carma laughs.
but she was thrilled to be nominated in the first place. She never thought that in a million years she would, that she could, come this far.
Carma pauses and stops typing.
Okay. Ignoring literary gag reflex. I will continue to write.
Carma starts typing again.
Josephine Buoy is in her gown as described and is schmoozing with other people. A variety of people are coming up and congratulating her on being nominated and making small talk. There are a group of characters waiting near Josephine, to see if they will be used in the story or not. As each character is dismissed, they exit in their own way, that is typical of their character. JETHRO (male, mid 40’s, the nice guy who often falls for the wrong girl and gets his heart broken, has a lot of female friends.) Tola-Svetlana, and CECILA (female, mid 40’s - early 50's, in love with Josephine.)
CARMA:
(V.O.)
By Josephine’s side, was her dear friend and companion… Jethro. Hmm… Josephine and Jethro? No… Josephine and … Ha! Exotica, The Latex Vixen of The Night. Why not? No , my humor is not the world’s humor. But why not a woman? Josephine and Cecilia, her dearest and true love for 8 glorious years … hmmmm… ohhh… ooh hmmm.. I don’t know… should I? Eeesh. Hmmm. Oh, oooh ah… Oh forget it! Josephine goes by herself. Yes, so there she was , looking beautiful and… autonomous… and… and…
INT. COMPUTER /
TV ROOM. NIGHT.
CARMA:
Oh that’s just not it… at all! Ugh! That was horrible!
INT. COMPUTER /
TV ROOM. DAY.
A week has passed. Carma returns to
the computer, and writes in her diary, which she has on her computer.
CARMA:
September 19th, A Sunday. I know its been a week since I’ve last worked on my writing, but the last idea I came up with, just didn’t strike me as wow.. and exciting… or ha! even good. And you have to at least like what you are writing, or its just bullshit. But, fear not! I’ve come up with a new idea for a story. I am going to write a
Carma’s eyes light up.
musical!
Times passes. Carma is sitting at the computer trying to write the libretto for the musical.
Scene 1. Josephine Buoy … Josephine Buoy … Um… Hmmm… oh crap… Oh… Josephine Buoy is … Um… Ah! Ha! Okay.
Carma starts to type.
Scene 1. Josephine Buoy is sitting in the park reading her book, and feeding bread to the birds, as she does every Sunday afternoon.
Carma stops typing and thinks out loud.
Ha good. Okay. Enter … Albert… Alberto… no… enter… um… hmmm… Raaalph! Ew. No okay.. I am not feeling Ralph, but maybe a …. Uh…. Um…. Toby. Toby is a nice name. I can dig Toby. Or Tobias. I like Tobias. Okay well Dracos is kinda nice too, but no.. no.. let’s go with Tobias.
Carma starts to type.
EXT. THE
Hello Lady, the musical. Josephine & TOBIAS (male 40's. In love with love.)are in a park. RAAALPH (male, mid 40’s, artistic, tries to come off as this wild person on the edge, but it’s just a façade.), DRACOS (male, early 40's. He is Alberto's brother and is always looking after his brother’s well-being.) and ALBERTO (male, mid 40's, a very distinguished upper-class snooty alcoholic.) are sitting by a nearby bench looking depressed since they were not chosen for the role. "Hello Lady", is the name of the duet that Josephine and Tobias sing.
CARMA:
(V.O.)
Enter Tobias, who sits next to Josephine on the park bench, tips his hat and starts to sing!
Carma stops typing and speaks.
This should be interesting…
Tobias sings his heart out, typical Broadway.
TOBIAS:
(singing)
Hello Lady!
I say, Hello Lady!
How are you doing today?
I could not help
but to notice
you are giving bread away!
I like bread!
I like birds!
What I am trying to say (is)
Hello Lady,
I say hello lady,
Could we have lunch today?
Carma pauses and chuckles - stops typing.
CARMA:
(V.O)
and then she replies…
JOSEPHINE:
(singing)
Hello lady!
Hello lady!
Every Sunday!
Its hello lady!
Can I buy you
Pretty flowers?
Won’t you be all mine?
I've said “No!”
A thousand hours!
Why would I say yes this time?
TOBIAS:
(singing)
But I love you…
JOSEPHINE:
(singing)
You don’t even know me!
TOBIAS:
(singing)
I love you…
JOSEPHINE:
(singing)
Hello lady!
I say, hello lady!
Enough! Enough! With the hello lady!
I just wish
To feed the birds
And read my book
Without a word!
And without you
Singing
Hello lady!
Hello lady!
Hello lady!
Now, goodbye!
Josephine collects her bread and books and leaves for another bench.
TOBIAS:
(singing)
Yes… one day she shall be mine!!!!
Carma laughs, sighs and then yawns.
CARMA:
Oh, that was funny. Well, at least to me. Well, at least in the moment. Oh, the moment is over. Damn! I just feel like I could write more or write better. I should be writing something … Ooh I don't know… Artsy… experimental… avant-garde… Or should I?
( A BEAT)
Tobias and Josephine … Why should it be a romantic story about a man and a woman, anyway?
In an all blue room, Tabatha and Joe are lined up against the wall. TABATHA (female, 40's, extremely shy and quiet until she feels comfortable, then she is quite humorous, odd, but friendly.) JOE (male, late 40's. Is constantly trying to be more impressive then he actually is, and always making up stories about how wonderful his life is, but in reality he is a very unhappy man. He also has a drinking problem) As each character is rejected, they exit in a manner that fits their disposition.
CARMA:
(V.O)
Why not between two males or two females? I… I … I could change Tobias into Tobiatha… er uh … Tabatha or … or change Josephine into Joe.
(A BEAT)
There are just so many opposite sex love stories, maybe I should write a same sex one. Ooh should I? I just feel that I should. I mean really if you think about it, as a writer, its my responsibility to help fight ignorance and help things that are wrongly labeled taboo and help them become more expectable… isn’t? It’s not even like I would have to make something up. I like woman… I like men. Hmmm.
(A BEAT)
CARMA:
Christ! Sometimes I am way too aware of all the political… sociological … hell even psychological connotations that the writing is going to suggest! How it could possibly be interpreted or… or… misinterpreted! It makes me all to self-conscious! I completely do this to myself. I can not write like this, it's nuts!
(A BEAT)
Ooh! Okay… I know! I will take this bunched up energy and use it in a story… oh brilliant! Okay…
Carma starts typing.
THE CRITIC (female, late 40's, negative and very critical of others.) and Josephine are sitting in a red court room.
CARMA:
(V.O)
Josephine is sitting in a red courtroom. The antagonistic - is that a word? Doesn’t matter. The antagonistic character is named… The Critic. Yes, that’s abstract yet has depth. Well, not abstract… more vague or… well it’s a philosophical abstract. No, the character represents a philosophical concept? Oh, I don’t know! It’s a freakin' character and they are in the freakin’ courtroom and the critic is the judge. Where was I? Oh yes… yes yes. Josephine takes the stand. Alright, commence session.
CRITIC:
We are hear with… Josephine Buoy, discussing the political consequences and/or connotations, responsibilities etc. etc. etc. & misconceptions of bisexuality in literature and the writer. For the court’s record, please state your sexual orientation.
JOSEPHINE:
Bisexual, your honor.
CARMA:
(V.O.)
Time passes. At this point, The Critic becomes the prosecutor and questions Josephine. The critic is in the middle of the persecution... ooh Freudian slip. I mean prosecution. Ha!
CRITIC:
… But don’t you think , that if you have a character that is bisexual, that by having that character date a man, that they are giving off the wrong impression. That it’s saying “Oh, look what we have here. Here was a woman who was attracted to both men and woman, but look she is dating a man. Why not a woman?” “Why its simple,” says society. “All she needed was a good man to set her straight!”
JOSEPHINE:
What the hell? What impression? Whose watching. Is there some committee that I am unaware of that is watching my character’s every move? I don’t see why just because I am attracted to both sexes, that I automatically become this political and sociological representation of bisexuality! That I become this poster-child for sexual orientation! That everyone is going to base their definition of bisexuality on my actions, and my actions alone. That all my writing and all my characters and their actions should announce it with a bullhorn wherever they go. Attention society! Bisexual woman coming through! Hot soup! Hot soup!
CRITIC:
Get real, Josephine. Wake up and smell the pot roast! As long as a lifestyle is considered taboo, anyone who partakes in that lifestyle, is going to be watched, and studied, and their actions will have great depth and meaning on the movement of that particular lifestyle, and that individual will have an effect on that movement’s goal to become less taboo in society’s eyes. You, as a writer should know that.
JOSEPHINE:
That may be so. However, I am not going to base every single decision and action, with the endless knowledge, of how it might affect this, quote movement unquote, politically and on … on… countless other levels. Can’t I just relax and write and do things because I want to… because that's the way I want to the story to go! Does every action have to have such incredible consequence and depth? My character falls in love with a man. My character falls in love with a woman! Either way love is love and whatever gender it happens to include , what ever gender I have my character fall in love with, if they should fall in love at all, is my business and it doesn’t matter what you think, or what anyone else thinks! Besides, if a person is that dim-witted to judge a whole group of people, on one person's action… well … to hell with them!
CRITIC:
To hell with them? These are your audience, Josephine. Aren’t we being a bit judgmental!?
JOSEPHINE:
I'm being judgmental? Listen lady, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but this is my life, and its my writing, and its my choices so but out!
CARMA:
Wow. That was so cathartic.
Carma pauses and smiles.
I am so strange.
Carma laughs. She takes a deep breath and stops laughing. Sighs.
But its still not a finished piece of work. Why can’t I write a finished piece of writing? Is my attention span so piss poor, that I can’t focus on one literary idea for a period of time? Is my writing so bad and flat, that it doesn't even interest me enough to write more then a weak beginning?
(A BEAT)
Okay, you know what it is? It's that while I am inspired, I haven’t quite found that one idea that is going to spark, and lead to other ideas and sparks, which leads to this grand fire and focused inspiration and…
(A BEAT)
Oooh! I got it. I know. I’ll take all these little snippets of prose and theater and take the characters in them and use these characters as they have been used and mush it all together to create this wonderfully intricate story. Oooh… a challenge! Now that excites me!
Times passes. Carma has written down the names of each character on a piece of paper, so she is able to keep track of all the characters that she has created. Carma, who has a big grin on her face, takes a deep breath, keeping her list of characters at hand and starts to type.
CARMA:
For The Love of Fantasy. SCENE 1.
CARMA
(V.O):
Josephine Buoy, who is now an older,
and wiser woman, whose far less into fantasy, as she was in her younger years,
and is now a successful writer, is
sitting on a bench, in a land called Folleywood. Which is a
play off…
STELLA:
Josephine! There you are! I’ve been looking for all over for you!
JOSEPHINE:
Stella? Aren’t you supposed to be on the train?
STELLA:
Yeah… yeah… slight altering of plans. That whole ending to The Soul’s Itch… I couldn’t take it anymore…
JOSEPHINE:
Okay… Okay. What exactly do you mean, you altered the plans?
STELLA:
Well… let me start out by saying, that the way you wrote the story was genius. I mean … I mean that was good…
JOSEPHINE:
Stella…
STELLA:
Right. Okay well, it’s just… well… alright. I get the ending, I think it worked as far as endings go. I leave Billows, I go on the train, the movie ends, and that’s all very well and good for the movie, but there I am, movie ended, and I am left on this train. This train that never changes, never makes any stops. Two weeks later. I’m still on the train! Now, it would have been one thing, if I knew this train was actually going somewhere resembling a destination of sorts, but it wasn’t. I just keep on traveling and traveling and traveling and… on the same train, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and I realized, that unless you write a sequel? I am stuck on this train for the rest of my character existence. Frankly? I lost it. I started thinking, what is it all for? And… and I realized, this is not where I want to be, and I panicked and then… I jumped off… and just… ah, I couldn’t take it… I’m sorry.
JOSEPHINE:
But… but … Stella. See, that was the end of the story, there is no more. The end of the story, the main heroin leaves on the train. The end. Characters aren’t supposed to alter the ending! You know that…
STELLA:
You can not leave me on that train until my status expires?! What is it with you writers? Just because they type the end, they think the story has ended, I mean really! What about the characters? What about us? Sure, just create us then leave us at the side of the road, till we become an un-used character? Well, let me tell you something. This is my life we are dealing with and, I demand that you write something more! I will stand for cruelty! I mean I won’t… I won’t stand for cruelty and mistreatment of characters, of myself! I’ll go on strike, I’ll start a… a… revolution! I’ll do whatever it takes, but it will be a cold day in Folleywood before you get me on that damn train again! Oh… oh… I’m… I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blow up at you like that, but its been a long train ride.
JOSEPHINE:
Well now, that I think about it, you do have a point. I can definitely see where being stuck on the train, would drive a person batty eventually, and I apologize.
STELLA:
Oh… thank you. It's… it’s … it’s just that I worked so hard in this movie and I was so afraid, that once the movie had ended, that I would end up just another un-used character wallowing in the puddle of non-purpose. You know how it is. Create a character, use them, leave them in the end, until their character status expires. Before they know it, they are sitting downtown, hopeless and un-used. Or worse - Naturelyn. Oh nature, talk about your institutions from hell! I don’t want to end up there, Josephine! I can’t do that again. I can’t!
JOSEPHINE:
Stella, you know that I would never do that. I promise, I will write more to the story, as soon as I get a chance, but now I really must…
STELLA:
Speaking of which,
Stella reaches in her pocket, pulls out a piece of scrap paper.
Here, I wrote down some suggestions that I thought of on the way here…
Stella clears her throat.
JOSEPHINE:
Why don’t you just leave me the paper, and I’ll look at it when I get some time. I really truly am very busy, and need to get this work done and…
STELLA:
#1…
Billows, who has been hiding in the bushes, jumps out, which startles Stella and Josephine for a short moment. He interrupts.
BILLOWS:
And while we are on the topic…
STELLA:
Oh Nature, here we go again.
BILLOWS:
Why? Why did you end it with me and Stella breaking up? We had a love!
STELLA:
We did not!
BILLOWS:
That was strong and true and it was real! A love that would have lasted through the ages. I was ready to grow old with this woman, and all the sudden she leaves me, for a train nonetheless?!
STELLA:
Oh nature, the movie ended ages ago and you still don’t get it. I didn’t leave you for a train. I left you in search of something better.
JOSEPHINE:
Ouch.
Stella turns to Josephine.
STELLA:
What? You wrote it.
JOSEPHINE:
I know, I just…
BILLOWS:
You just what? Never realized that the actions and fate that you place on your characters actually has consequences in their life?! Sure… sure I may be this replaceable character in your eyes, but do I not have a heart? Do I not feel when I am burned?!
STELLA:
Oh, for crying out loud!
Stella turns to Josephine.
Excuse me, Josephine, We’ll talk
later.
Stella walks away. Billows follows, her voice fading as she walks more of a distance.
Stop following me!
Stella and Billows exit. Enter Eva Wielder. She walks by, stops, and notices Josephine.
EVA:
Josephine Buoy? Is that you?
JOSEPHINE:
Eva? Long time no see!
EVA:
Yes yes yes, I just got back from
my trip from
Eva sits down next to Josephine and notices the pad.
Ah… excellent I see you are still writing!
JOSEPHINE:
Well, trying to, but it just seems wherever I go, distractions follow.
EVA:
Yes, speaking of which, I just ran into Stella and Billows. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t Stella supposed to be on the train?
JOSEPHINE:
It’s a long story…
EVA:
Oh, do tell!
JOSEPHINE:
Well, lets just say I should have never let her read Nietzsche. Now she insists on being the complete and utter master of her own fate.
EVA:
You gave her Nietzsche?! Oh my nature! A character with free will? That's just … asking for trouble, Josephine! What were you thinking?
(A BEAT)
Hmmm. Though that would explain
JOSEPHINE:
Uh-oh. Dare I ask?
EVA:
Well, you know they all had lunch
together last week? Well, ever since that lunch,
( A BEAT)
Josephine, you really have to be careful these days of what you give to your characters. We no longer live the Age of No-Consequence. Everything has consequence these days.
JOSEPHINE:
That’s true. I just… I guess I had forgotten that characters were even capable of becoming inspired. Wow…
(A BEAT)
So, tell me, what’s this? You’re
writing a sequel to Café dans
EVA:
Hmm? Oh
yes yes, I am so excited about it. The idea came to me ,
when I was in
JOSEPHINE:
I’m all ears.
EVA:
Thank you! I’ve been dying to get some writer feedback on this! Okay, you remember Bob, from the first movie?
JOSEPHINE:
Bob… Bob…
EVA:
The former
American love of
JOSEPHINE:
Ah yes… got hit by a bus… I remember now.
EVA:
Bob got hit by a bus and died … or
so we thought. The truth is he survived the accident! He has recovered and now
he is subconsciously searching for
BOB:
Bob?!
Bob?!
BOB:
EVA:
So as you can see, it’s going to be wild.
JOSEPHINE:
But, how are you going to explain Bob’s return? I mean, it would be one thing, if he skinned his knee on the sidewalk, but, he was hit by a bus! You just don’t really get up from that, just like that?
EVA:
Well, as the movie is going to
explain… There he was, having a bad day, and just when
he thought it could not get worse… WHAM, he gets hit by a bus and is rushed to
the hospital. There he was, in a coma, struggling to stay alive, but in the
end, was pronounced dead by the doctors.
JOSEPHINE:
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Her
lover dies, and the next days she goes off to
EVA:
No no no, you see
JOSEPHINE:
You’re kidding me.
EVA:
I kid you not. But, here's the
kicker. He has suffered great injury to his head and so he had … what's the
word… amnesia. Then, once the hospital found out his insurance has stopped
covering the expenses, they released him out into the world. He creates a new name , a new life for himself, and has completely forgotten
about
JOSEPHINE:
Ooh! You should probably have him
faint after he sees
EVA:
Ooh, I like that. I’m gonna write that in.
Enter Don-Yaro Berger. Eva looks up and sees Don-Yaro; muttering.
Oh Nature, look whose here.
Josephine looks up and groans. The two ladies are less then thrilled to see him, for he is a pompous man.
DON-YARO:
Good afternoon ladies. Mind if I… park my rump?
Don-Yaro chuckles at his own joke. The ladies are not amused. Don-Yaro looks at Eva.
Eva… Aren’t we the honeyed ham… mouthwatering… juicy… errrow!
EVA:
Why are you here?
Don-Yaro winks. Enter Amadeus and Veril. Eva notices Amadeus and is a bit smitten with him. The attraction is mutual, but she is hesitant because he is of a lower class then she is.
AMADEUS:
Don-Yaro! There you are!
VERIL:
Don-Yaro. We gotta talk. The critics! The public! They are calling us… 2 dimensional … that hurts, Don-Yaro, that hurts.
Veril blows his nose into a tissue.
AMADEUS:
I think what young Veril here is trying to say, is that we’ve been done. We are nothing new. There are far too many male duos, especially in action movies, where there is one big tough macho guy who has the IQ of.. of.. well shall we say … low matter.
VERIL:
Hey!
AMADEUS:
Which I mean, in the nicest way possible…
VERIL:
Well, okay then.
AMADEUS:
… and then there is the cultured and highly intelligent character who can’t fight for … well beans, but is the brains behind the bunch. Face it, Don-Yaro, it’s been done and its just not working anymore.
Amadeus hands Don-Yaro a proposal.
Now. Here is a proposal that Me and Veril have both come up with, for the next movie.
Amadeus turns to Josephine and Eva, while Don-Yaro looks over the proposal.
Josephine! Glad to see you. Please tell Stella that we had a delightful lunch with her. That Nietzsche fellow is just fascinating! I hope we all can do it again sometime.
Josephine smiles, but before she can speak, Amadeus who appears inspired, turns back to Don-Yaro.
We suggest that you take a look at this, and utilize our suggestions into your next movie. Think new!
DON-YARO:
Veril! Amadeus! You don’t give me enough credit. If you had waited one more week, you would have received the new script where, Veril … um… you… you get a love interest!
Veril is overjoyed.
VERIL:
Sweet mercy! I get a woman!
DON-YARO:
And you, Amadeus, you get hired as a distinguished professor of Literature and Art, at a very distinguished academy… or even… university!
AMADEUS:
Ivy League?
DON-YARO:
Oh but of course!
AMADEUS:
Oh Don-Yaro!
JOSEPHINE:
Wait a second there, Don-Yaro. If Veril gets a love interest…
Veril grins and blushes.
VERIL:
I get a woman!
JOSEPHINE:
And Amadeus here, goes off to teach at a respected university of sorts, does that mean… that ... that you’re going to … gasp! separate them?!
Veril and Amadeus jaws drop.
AMADEUS:
Oh, I did not know that was part of the movie! I object!
DON-YARO:
Just temporarily, Amadeus.
Don-Yaro turns to Josephine.
Thank you Josephine.
JOSEPHINE:
Anytime.
Don-Yaro turns to Veril and Amadeus.
DON-YARO:
Picture it. It’s after the war, Veril you’ve been shot and while they thought you had died, thanks to the miracles of modern science, you remained alive, but just barely, and then you came through. A glimpse of hope and humanity. You are reunited at the army hospital with Amadeus! The two of you are overjoyed to see each other, but then… then... oh yes then.. you realize!
JOSEPHINE:
Oh brother…
DON-YARO:
Then you realize that you have been given a second chance at life. And you realize, this is your chance to fulfill your dreams that you left unanswered. That you, Veril, long for a love of your own… and you… yes you… uh… uh…
EVA:
Amadeus!
DON-YARO:
Right… you, Amadeus long to be a distinguished professor where you can grow and share that fine and mighty intellect of yours.
EVA:
Please, their friendship is… is… the only strength of the whole film. You take that away and there is nothing! Besides, they are finally reunited as brothers, and now they are going to part again!? It doesn’t make sense?!
Eva looks at Amadeus and smiles. Amadeus smiles back.
DON-YARO:
Eva, please. You’re dealing with a professional here. Trust me. Veril and Amadeus reunite in the end, it will be moving, it will be beautiful. Everyone will love it!
AMADEUS:
I don’t know, I think Eva has a strong point there.
Amadeus smiles at Eva.
DON-YARO:
Excuse me ladies,
Don-Yaro turns to Amadeus and Veril.
Come. We’ll walk. We’ll schmooze. A little dinner, and we’ll work out the details. Have I ever steered you wrong before?
Amadeus looks at Eva. Eva looks at Amadeus. They both smile. Don-Yaro is jealous.
AMADEUS:
I hope we will meet each other again, Lady Eva.
EVA:
Oh, we shall.
DON-YARO:
Oh disgust! Eva, if you think you are going to get your hands on Amadeus, you are sadly mistaken you.. you.. you.. toad! There… there is no where in any of my scripts, that he starts dating the likes of you!
JOSEPHINE:
Don-Yaro… Don-Yaro… your blood pressure.
Josephine laughs.
EVA:
Yeah, Don-Yaro.
No need to get your panties all in a bunch.
Amadeus starts laughing under his breath. Don-Yaro turns to Amadeus.
DON-YARO:
And you, shut up unless you want to go back being a .. a.. Bravado!!
Amadeus stops laughing, but when Don-Yaro isn’t looking he smiles at Eva. Eva smiles back. Veril is confused.
VERIL:
But, I thought I was gonna get the love interest?
DON-YARO:
You are! Amadeus has no love interest! Now lets go!
Don-Yaro, Amadeus, & Veril start to exit. Don-Yaro turns to Amadeus. Eva and Josephine can not hear this part of the conversation.
How could you embarrass me like that in front of the ladies! I am gorgeous in their eyes! Brilliant! And now, they probably view me as a sorry little jackass who can't control his characters! Amadeus, you will pay for this. In fact, Veril, you are getting Amadeus’ dessert tonight!
Amadeus’ jaw drops.
AMADEUS:
That sir,
is just cruel.
Amadeus, Veril and Don-Yaro exit. Meanwhile Josephine and Eva are talking.
JOSEPHINE:
Eva! Bravo! I didn’t know you were so kinky, but look at you, getting involved with a character!
EVA:
Well, you know me! Living on the edge. No, seriously, I am sure it was just flirting. Character and writer relationships just really aren’t done. Sure, there might be some … oh I don’t know… flirtations, but its never… well you know… I mean the idea is just … preposterous.
JOSEPHINE:
Well. Hmmm, I don’t know. I don't see why it should be. Attraction IS attraction.
EVA:
But, it is soooo taboo! Well, with the social classes and all. I mean, not to sound snobby but, lets be realistic. Writers and characters… they are from two different worlds.
JOSEPHINE:
So what? I still say it could work.
EVA:
Well, it’s not just the fact that Amadeus is a character. I mean he is also a former Bravado.
JOSEPHINE:
Where have I heard that name before? What is that a kind of writer?
EVA:
No no no …
JOSEPHINE:
A kind of character?
EVA:
Well, sort of. They are this little elitist group of characters that were created in haste, and never used. And what is worse, if being an un-used character, wasn’t worse enough, they have nothing. They completely lack a purpose.
JOSEPHINE:
What do you mean, they have no purpose?! At all? They must have something.
EVA:
Nothing. Most of them want a purpose, but, never take the initiative to find one. Don’t get me wrong, it used to be a rather productive organization for lost un-used characters way back when, but now, it’s just … well… let’s just say anyone who is a bravado, isn’t exactly revered, at least not in these parts of Folleywood.
JOSEPHINE:
Wow… that’s just … just… crazy. And Amadeus was part of that? I … I can’t see it.
EVA:
Well, Amadeus took the initiative. He went out and got a purpose. Granted, he got a purpose with Don-Yaro Berger, but at least he got a purpose. I guess, that in itself, that counts for something. If only he wasn’t a character…
JOSEPHINE:
Well, good for him! That’s so wonderful that he went out and found himself a purpose. Most characters don’t have that quality. They are the followers , rarely the leader.
EVA:
See, that’s my point. And that’s why I am wondering, if say, Me and Amadeus did ever try to get together. I mean characters, it’s a whole different lifestyle and culture. They do what they are told, they follow the script , they say the lines written for them. But the writers, we make it happened. We write what is said! We are the masters of their universe! Could those two lifestyles, blend? I mean realistically speaking?
JOSEPHINE:
Well, it could. Although,
Josephine laughs for she knows how Eva is going to react to what she has to say.
you do realize, that you would have to treat him as your equal.
EVA:
Equal? But… but… I’m the writer! He’s a character! Those two classes have never been treated as equals!
JOSEPHINE:
Eva! This isn’t some script you are writing, or some character you are commanding, this is a relationship.
EVA:
Josephine, as a writer I have higher status that entitles me to a certain kind of power. A power that puts me above any character. That’s the way it is. And you know what? I like it. And if that makes me a horrible person, so be it, because that’s the way the classes are supposed to be.
(A BEAT)
I mean… let’s be realistic, this is not some happily ever after life we are living. There are social consequences to our actions, you know that, and it’s hardly socially acceptable for members of these two classes to mix, especially when it comes to romance, and that is why it can never be! And maybe that makes me a snobby person for believing that, but that’s where I stand.
A couple people, who have overheard this conversation, applaud.
Yes, it’s for the best that I not pursue him.
Eva contemplates and sighs. She is conflict between her desires and social pressure.
Actress #1 is standing on stage.
ACTRESS
#1:
Meanwhile, in an old abandoned theater far far away… The Bravados, an eclectic group of created but un-used characters, were meeting for their daily conference. Angry and disgruntled, they are the characters in society that were discarded faster then they were created. Whose names slipped from the writer’s lips in a moment of whimsical and thoughtless inspiration, but were quickly rejected, never to be utilized in that story… and plot.
The Bravados are meeting. Each time Actress #1 speaks their name, we see each character as they are announced by Actress #1. First we see a profile of the character. Then the character dramatically turns her/his head to the camera and smiles in their own way. We see the character at first from the shoulders up, and that character’s name is shown on the screen.
ACTRESS
#1: (V.O.)
Tola-Svetlana.
JOSEPHINE:
(V.O)
Note to self. Tola-Svetlana does not speak, at least as far as anyone knows. She merely sits by herself and observes society, and because of her silence, no one pays attention to her, or even notices that she is there. She is secretly a part of The Heylatarian Movement, the rebel movement in Folleywood that was supposedly defeated 10 years ago.
ACTRESS
#1: (V.O.)
Exotica . Antoinette & Bernadette. Absinthe. Aborigine.
Aborigine is the founder of The Bravados. She is the most successful of the group , and unlike most in the group, she is still making an effort in life.
Raaalph. Tabatha. Joe. Dracos. And finally Alberto.
JOSEPHINE:
(V.O)
Another note to self. Alberto and Dracos are brothers and are apart of The Traditionalist Movement in Folleywood. A movement that strives to preserve the traditions of the Boardian government and culture, and will do so, at all costs. They fear change and will destroy in the name of preservation.
The Bravados also meet to practice their acting skills. They are in the middle of performing an improv skit. Except Tola-Svetlana who is sitting by herself in the corner.
ABORIGINIE:
Alright people. I have given this much thought, and I have decided that a change is necessary for The Bravados.
There is a dramatic stir amongst the group.
Instead of us waiting for writers to use us, why don’t we become the writers?!
RAAALPH:
Oh… I knew this was going to happened!
ANTOINETTE:
Characters don’t write for themselves, we let the writers handle all of… that!
BERNADETTE:
Really! Why on earth would we want to even write at all? It’s just… the whole thing is beneath us!
TABATHA:
Oh, I … I don’t how good I would be as a writer, I mean, I never really wrote before. I don’t even know what would I write about?
ABSINTHE:
You know I just came back from the clinic, Aborigine. I’m tired. The last thing I need is more responsibilities and headaches and things to do. As it is, just getting out of bed every morning is a challenge, and now you want to give me MORE stress?
JOE:
Aborigine, please. If you knew Folleywood like I know Folleywood, and believe me, I know Folleywood, no one writes themselves. It’s just not done. You think you’re being original and creative, but it would be viewed as pompous.
ABORIGINE:
But, what about the idea of free will? That you make things happened to you!
EXOTICA:
Ooh sounds kinky…
ANTOINETTE:
Oh, here she goes…
BERNADETTE:
Again.
ABORIGINE:
But it’s true!
JOE:
Sure. Sure. That’s okay for writers to do, but WE are characters. We are the forgotten,
Takes a swig from a small whiskey bottle that he carries at all times in his inner coat pocket.
and chances are, always will be.
DRACOS:
You can not change what is tradition. Tradition is tradition for a reason, because it works. Because it was meant to be. You change tradition and you create chaos.
ALBERTO:
Aborigine, what has gotten into you?! Have you been meeting with … with.. with … uh… I need a name … line!
EXOTICA:
Lucille The Wild Tramp Rebel from hell!
ALBERTO:
From.. from… Lucille … that trampy rebel … again?!
TABATHA:
Lucille? Whose Lucille? Oh we’re still doing improv, right. Sorry.
ALBERTO:
Have you?
ABORIGINE:
Well… yes I have, and what of it?
ALBERTO:
Oh nature! Have you not listened to a word we have said?
RAAALPH:
She is danger! She is evil!
EXOTICA:
Oh, lust.
ABORIGINIE:
How dare you talk about her that way! At least she is out there in front lines, making something of herself! Look at us! I mean look at us! A bunch of sorry saps sitting around on our asses! Ooh alliteration. Daydreaming about success… daydreaming … daydreaming… look where that has gotten us?!
ALBERTO:
Well it's no wonder YOU haven’t got a purpose! It’s because you’re so hard to work with!!!!
Everyone’s mouth dropped. Aborigine lower lips starts to quiver, she turns away.
RAAALPH:
Oh the suffering…
EXOTICA:
Hmm.
ALBERTO:
I’m sorry… I’m sorry. It was over the line and I… I don’t know what came over me.
RAAALPH:
People! Listen. We are all a little… on the edge, because we all want a purpose but we can’t get a purpose until we are given a purpose and in the meantime we will have to wait for a purpose, and waiting for a purpose can be very frustrating and irritating and grating on the nerves. However, let us remember that what we do have is each other and no more… and no less.
TABATHA:
Did he say purpose or porpoise?
Aborigine starts to giggle under her breath and smiles at Tabatha. Tabatha smiles. Bernadette and Antoinette give Tabatha a dirty look and roll their eyes. Tabatha looks down again. There is a silence. The skits ends. The Bravados take a unified bow and applaud each other.
JOE:
People! People! That was won-der-ful! Genius! Such realism! Such emotion! I say we give ourselves another round of applause! Bravo! Bravo!
The group congratulates each other. After awhile they stop and sit down again.
ABORIGINE:
Well. Shall we get to business? Does anyone know of any openings in stories?
ABSINTHE:
Nah, you know I’m kinda wiped from that whole improv scene, I think I am going to go home and take a nap.
JOE:
Aborigine, you know I’d love to, but I have to call some people back. You know how it is, busy busy busy, when you’ve got connections, in Folleywood.
Joe laughs nervously. Reaches into his inner coat pocket and pulls out a small bottle of hard liquor, takes a swig and puts it back in. laughs nervously and smiles. Everyone but Tabatha, mumble their excuses and leave.
ABORIGINE:
You’re not leaving, Tabatha?
TABATHA:
Nah. I have no where to go.
His house is ultra "hip" and
stylish, with a lot of dark colors and dramatic furnishings. His two
characters, Poverty and Rabbit, from I am The Roof Top, I am the chimney,
live with him. Poverty and Rabbit often find newcomers to the downtown
Folleywood area, and bring them to Iggy’s house, since Iggy is always looking
for new talent. This time they have brought, Cecila and Jethro, who were
recently released from Naturelyn - Folleywood's mandatory nut house and
character re-immigration center. Cecila has a Naturelyn brochure in her hands.
It reads “Naturelyn:
IGGY
KATSUNE:
Poverty! Rabbit! I am. Glad. You brought. these people. Cecila! Jethro! Meet my. Drinkslave-man-child… Tobias! To my. Home. Welcome. Tobias!
Iggy claps his hands twice. Tobias eagerly pours him another martini. Cecila speaks under her breath to Jethro when Iggy is not paying attention.
CECILIA:
Tell me why are we here again?
JETHRO:
Heh… shhh…
RABBIT:
They are. new to. Foll-ae-wood.
POVERTY:
We. told them. all about. The Bravados, but. they were. NOT. interested in that. whole scene. They are truly. on. their own. plane. of thought…
RABBIT:
So. we. thought. you. could help them. Guide them. Point them … direction.
IGGY
KATSUNE:
I dig… I dig…
Iggy suddenly gets inspired and starts to perform an improv monologue. He jumps onto the coffee table and in the process, slightly startles Jethro and Cecila.
I dig coffee! I dig tea! But do they, then in turn dig me? I dig! I dig! Perhaps. My per-sons. It is not. what I dig, what you dig, but about the dig! Trenches! I do not dig the system! The system, man is a hole! A hole that digs a hole into itself! So it can bury us all, right? But the real truth man, the real… is we are the dig! We are the dig! The dig. is us.
Iggy jumps off the table and sits back down, incredibly mellow again. Rabbit and Poverty nod knowingly. Jethro and Cecila look at each other and pretend to know.
JETHRO
& CECILA:
Exactly…
Tobias suddenly stands up applauds widely.
TOBIAS:
Bravo, Iggy, bravo!
Rabbit , Poverty and Iggy Katsune look at him strangely.
RABBIT:
Your drinkslave-man-child’s. energy is just. too much.
POVERTY:
Bright.
IGGY
KATSUNE:
His whole. scene. hurts my. Eyes.
Iggy turns to Tobias.
You. are just … ah… use the door. for exiting.
Iggy notices that Cecila and Jethro are beginning to gather their things and are getting ready to leave. He is more intelligent then most people know or give him credit for, and is aware that they are making excuses so they can leave.
CECILA:
Um… the truth… the matter, Iggy, uh… we have to. go and search. the .. uh… the dig.
IGGY
KATSUNE:
Oh… that was. just. so. beau-ti-ful. Mistress Cecila. I’m having a. poetry-speak concert-gig-show. to. night. Why don’t you. Two people. come and dig?
JETHRO:
We’ll see. I mean… we’ll. See. what we. can do. the search. of the. dig is .vast and. who knows how. long it. will. Last… er I mean… take. before we get. to the … truth
POVERTY:
Wow. Jethro, that’s so true.
Cecila and Jethro are about to leave when Tobias, sits upon the porch outside of Iggy’s house, with his head in his hands. Cecila and Jethro look at him, unsure of what to do. Sitting by a nearby tree, Tola-Svetlana, observing, but does not speak.
TOBIAS:
I’m ruined. Oh dear Nature. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? Working for Mr. Katsune was all I had and now I have nothing? Nothing.
Tobias looks up and notices that Cecila and Jethro are staring at him strangely.
Oh, hi. I’m Tobias.
CECILA:
Well, um … nice to meet you, Tobias. I’m Cecila and this my friend, Jethro.
JETHRO:
Hi.
TOBIAS:
You two are new to downtown Folleywood here, aren’t you. Let me guess, just released from Naturelyn?
JETHRO:
Yes, how did you know?
TOBIAS:
Yeah, well all the new ones come to Iggy Katsune’s house. Hoping for a role… a purpose… a small glimpse of hope… a…
CECILA:
Ooh, so you’ve been around for awhile?
TOBIAS:
Well, I guess you could say that.
CECILA:
Great! perhaps you could answer some questions for us.
TOBIAS:
Well, I will do my best. Nature only knows what sorrow has done to my intellect.
JETHRO:
Okay… so if you’re an un-used character, are your only two options: joining the Bravados or working for Iggy Katsune?
TOBIAS:
Well, there are other options, I suppose. You can befriend a character that is being used in a story and hope they introduce you to a writer… but I mean, HA! Good luck doing that.
CECILA:
So that’s it? Those are our only options?
TOBIAS:
Well, there are more dramatic and gruesome ones, but I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s certainly not for the light hearted or for new people like yourselves.
JETHRO:
What are they?
TOBIAS:
Well, if you wanted to end your existence, you could get a writer to kill you off in a story. Most of them will do it for you. They are pretty merciful about it. I mean hey! At least you die having a purpose, right?
CECILA:
The only way we can end our existence is if a writer kills us off in a story?!
TOBIAS:
That's what they say.
Tobias and Cecila look bewildered.
What part of immortality do we not understand?
CECILA:
That's crazy… I can’t imagine that being true. This place is nuts!
(A BEAT)
So what was the other option you were saying?
TOBIAS:
Well, there is another option, but very few have attempted it. You can apply to The Board…
CECILA:
The Board? What’s that?
TOBIAS:
Ah yes, the board. The Board is in charge of regulating policies, law, rules, that sort of thing…
CECILA:
Oh.
TOBIAS:
An-y-way, as I was saying, you can go to The Board to obtain a character-writer permit, that would allow you writer status, in which you could then, create your own characters and your own stories.
JETHRO:
Have you ever tried that?
TOBIAS:
What are you nuts? No, well I thought about it once or twice, but I don’t think I am ready to take that kind of responsibility for my own existence. There is a certain safety that comes with being a character.
CECILA:
So, that’s how Iggy Katsune got his writer status, by obtaining a character-writer permit?
TOBIAS:
Well, no…
JETHRO:
No? then how did he become a writer?
TOBIAS:
Oh, I have a headache. Alright, this is the way it goes. There are two kinds of writers. There are the writers that are Born-Writers. They are of the highest form of writers and have the most status. Then there are the writers of the second status who were once characters but have obtained a character-writer permit. Their status is on probation for a year, and then after that they get their character-writer license. They are not as statused as the Born-Writers, but some feel that it beats the character's existence, used and/or un-used etc. etc. etc. I despise having to explain that.
CECILA:
We should do that! I can write!
JETHRO:
Hmmmm…
TOBIAS:
No. Do not fool yourself into thinking that the status of the character-writer is anymore glamorous then the status of the character, used or un-used. Most character-writers are outcasts in both the character and writer community, and the rare ones that are accepted into the writer community, end up forgetting or ignoring their character heritage. That toad!
CECILA:
Oh?
TOBIAS:
I once knew a character, who
became a writer. She was no big deal. We worked together on a Board Production…
a musical… called Hello Lady. Everyday of my life I sang my heart out to that
woman, and everyday she would reject me, but could she help it? That was the
way script went! But I knew if given the chance , she
would love me, but of course characters aren’t given the chance, so it could
never be. Tragic, isn’t it?
Jethro and Cecila are about to reply when he continues.
One day, after the musical ended and we were discarded into society as yet another set of un-used characters, she decides that being a character isn’t good enough for her, that she wants more, and I said, “My love, my darling dearest, what about us?” She insisted that she had no idea what I was talking about, that there never was any us. That any love connection that I thought we had, was merely in my head… pure fantasy.
JETHRO:
So what happened?
TOBIAS:
She applied for that character-writer permit. Time passed, she got her license…
JETHRO:
Did she write?
TOBIAS:
Oh, she wrote alright. Became very well known and accepted in the writers community, but does she once stop by or call me to see how I am doing?
CECILA:
You seem bitter…
TOBIAS:
Of course I am bitter! I had it all! I was in love! I would sit at the park and dream that one day me and her would be together , living happily ever after, but she took that all away from me! They always do! And I was left with nothing.
JETHRO:
Tobias, but you weren’t in love with her, You were in love with the fantasy. You were in love with love!
TOBIAS:
Fantasy! Love! It’s all the same, is it not?
CECILA:
No, it isn’t.
TOBIAS:
Oh, you wouldn’t understand. You’re new here. You are young and naïve. I am old and set in my ways, hopeless.
JETHRO:
Okay.
Cecila & Jethro start to get up.
Well, um, best of luck, Tobias. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again sometime.
TOBIAS:
Yes, and if you run into a woman named Josephine Buoy, send her my love. Tell her to call me.
CECILA:
Will do.
Tobias goes back to sobbing.
Cecila thinks to herself.
Hmmm, why does that name sound familiar?
Jethro and Cecila walk down the road (and away from Tobias).
CECILA:
You know what I am thinking? Maybe we should apply for a character-writer permit, like that Josephine woman. I mean, we could write.
JETHRO:
I don’t know, I mean I am not sure if being an outcast is the way I want to spend my life.
CECILIA:
But, it doesn’t have to turn out that way. I mean, would it hurt to go to the Board and get an application?
JETHRO:
Do you even know where The Board is?
CECILA:
Hmmm… good point. You know, you would think Naturelyn would give you a map, a visitors guide, or something when they release you into this… hellhole!
JETHRO:
Maybe we should go to that Bravado thing, Poverty and Rabbit mentioned. At least we will be around fellow un-used characters.
CECILIA:
Do you know where it is? Because, I don’t.
Jethro digs around in his pocket.
JETHRO:
Yeah, my re-immigration counselor at Naturelyn gave me a flyer for it. I think I still have it in my pocket… somewhere…
CECILA:
Oh, I am so glad I ran into you, Jethro. I can’t imagine doing this alone.
Jethro smiles. He pulls out the flyer out of his pocket and they start their journey.
Actress #1 is at the podium, award ceremony room.
ACTRESS
#1:
Meanwhile back at the abandoned theater where The Bravados meet…
Aborigine and Tabatha are still there, laying on the floor , staring at the ceiling, discussing life, and drinking orange juice.
ABORIGINIE:
Hey, Tabatha…
TABATHA:
Yeah?
ABORIGINIE:
Can I tell you a secret?
TABATHA:
Sure.
ABORIGINIE:
I am thinking of leaving The Bravados.
TABATHA:
What?! But you started the organization. Without you, it will crumble into… nothing!
ABORIGINIE:
I know, I know, but it’s just the original intention that I had for The Bravados, is so far off from where it is now.
TABATHA:
I don’t follow…
ABORIGINIE:
Well, when I first started The Bravados, I mean this was way back when, in The Era of No-Consequence, when un-used characters were just completely rejected and ignored by society. Society did not want to face the fact this was a situation that was going on and so… so they just shut their eyes and pretended it didn’t exist, pretended we didn’t exist. So , being an un-used character, I started an organization, where un-used characters could find refuge from society. We had support groups, we had parties, a lot of characters got a purpose, and now work with great writers. Back then it was a real positive thing for our people. Now , I mean look at the group, they are so unmotivated and just lazy… like they were thrusted into this society with this status and what's the point of doing anything about it. It’s like they just don’t care anymore. And I try to have meetings, and keep up the programs, but when I don’t get any positive feedback, I have to ask myself… why the hell am I busting my ass for these people who couldn’t care less?
TABATHA:
Oh, I know what you mean! Some of the people in this group, ooooh they just drain me of all my energy, suck it right out of me. Not that I’d actually do it, but sometimes I just want to slap them silly!
ABORIGINE:
Tabatha , I never knew you to be so vocal…
TABATHA:
Well that’s me, you know I’m quiet till I can’t take it anymore and then BOOM! I explode and let everything out!
ABORIGINE:
Wow, you are always such a quiet and meek person in the group meetings, but look at you! That was wonderful! I am shocked, but that was wonderful! Finally, a person in this group with passion and a heartbeat! Thank you!
Aborigine and Tabatha smile at each other. They have connected. All the sudden there is a knock at the door. It’s Jethro and Cecila.
CECILA:
I’m not sure if we have the right place, is this The Bravados?
ABORIGINE:
It is, it is, come in. sit down. Have a drink.
Times passes and they are all sitting on the floor, drinking orange juice, talking. Aborigine is excited to have new life in the organization again and Cecila and Jethro are just grateful to be around people that aren’t so melodramatic. Time passes. Jethro is trying to get Tabatha to open up more.
TABATHA:
Oh… I can’t find the words… it’s not important.
JETHRO:
Don’t worry if it makes sense or not. Just let it out, Tabatha. Let it out. What are you thinking?
TABATHA:
Well alright. I mean have you ever gotten the feeling, that there is just so much more to life, then … this. That there is grand experience or party that you are missing out on? I want to know. Where is this party?! And why wasn’t I invited, dammit?! I mean, there has be to more to life then this, because if not, then what is the point? Does anyone know?
(A BEAT)
You know, and it’s so stupid, because I’ve had this same conversation with myself for years now, and do I do anything about it? No, I just say, ‘oh, one day, I am going to do something, I just have to wait for the right time!’ The right time.. the right time… when is the right? Is there a right time? I mean screw the right time! Carpe diem! And then I tell myself ‘That’s it, tomorrow I am going march down to the board and get my character-writer permit and become the next character-writer… and make something of myself and… and.. be respected and leave all of… this.. crap!’
(A BEAT)
But who am I fooling? I don’t really want to write… I don’t know what I want to do. That’s the problem, That’s what it comes down to. Ooh. Oh, I am exhausted…
JETHRO:
Bravo, Tabatha!
TABATHA:
Ooh! I said too much. I feel naked…
and it sorta feels good! Woo!
(A BEAT)
I wonder what it’s like to be Josephine Buoy…
Cecila thinks to herself.
CECILA:
Oh nature, where do I know that name from?
TABATHA:
She’s so amazing and talented … and beautiful … and gutsy… and a hero… I mean, she is revered… respected in the character community…
JETHRO:
That’s not what this fellow, Tobias said. He said that the minute Josephine became a famous writer, she forgot about her roots as a character.
ABORIGINE:
Don't listen to Tobias and his fractured ego, Josephine Buoy is a wonderful role-model for the character community.
CECILA:
Oh! This is killing me! I swear her name sounds so familiar, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out where I know it from!
TABATHA:
She is famous. Maybe you’ve read some of her work?
CECILA:
No, it’s… it’s something deeper then that…
Aborigine speaks in a dreamy-eyed tone, she is joking around.
ABORIGINIE:
Maybe you two were lovers, forced to part. Oh woe! Oh woe!
CECILA:
That’s it!
ABORIGINE:
I was kidding.
CECILA:
No, I remember now.
ABORIGINE:
No, really – I was kidding.
CECILA:
There was this one story or something. It was about this famous writer, and it took place at The Folleywood Awards. That’s right! In the story, the main character, played by Josephine Buoy, her film was nominated for some film award, but she lost… but she didn’t mind… she was just happy to be there. And at first, there was this male companion with her but then, the writer changed her mind and I was created! As her love of 8 wonderful years! But then the writer just scrapped the whole idea and had her go by herself!
JETHRO:
That was YOU?
CECILA:
Yes!
JETHRO:
I was the male companion!
CECILA:
Ah! Ha! I knew you looked familiar! I remember now! Oh, my nature, that was driving me up the wall! Nature, I had no idea those drugs they give you at Naturelyn would make me so forgetful and groggy. I mean how does a person forget about a past love?
TABATHA:
Oh, Cecila you are so lucky. I would love to have the honor of being Ms. Buoy’s love, even for just a second.
ABORIGINE:
How can you become so mushy over a woman you have yet to meet, Tabatha?
CECILA:
I wonder if she
and I will ever bump into each other. I mean we had something. It was deep. It
was more then just some scripted affair. When the cameras weren’t rolling, at
the end of the day – we were still together. Man, that
was a beautiful time.
(A BEAT)
Oh, but that was years ago. I mean, time has passed. Besides, this is no time for romance… I … I.. just got out of Naturelyn, I need to get my life together and figure out what the hell I am going to do with myself.
ABORIGINIE:
Well, what do you want to do with yourself?
CECILA:
I was thinking of writing…
TABATHA:
You should get your permit, Cecila. I can see you writing…
CECILA:
and if I run into Josephine, as a writer, then so be it… all the better.
TABATHA:
That would be sooooooo romantic!
ABORIGINIE:
Well, unfortunately, you can't apply for a character-writer permit for at least another 6 months, so you may want to think of something you can do in the mean time.
TABATHA:
Oh, that's right. Character-Writer Permit Law # blah blah blah blah: New arrivals must wait a minimum of 6 months before they can obtain the application to obtain a character-writer-permit.
ABORIGINIE:
What a stupid law that is.
JETHRO:
I don't get it. Why would you have to wait 6 months?
TABATHA:
It was supposed to weed out the serious from the whimsical…
CECILA:
That is so stupid! I know what I want to do. I know what I have to do to achieve what I want to do, and now some stupid law is telling me I have to wait 6 months before I can do it? That’s so absurd! Who says you need a permit to write anyway? It's crazy!
TABATHA:
Cecila, it's the law! You can't break the law.
CECILA:
Break whose laws? I did not write these laws!
TABATHA:
You're speaking crazy , Cecila! Besides six months isn't that long of a time to wait? Really, you'll see, the months will just fly by! Before you know it, you'll have your Character-writer permit and then you can write all the stories you want, legally. Aborigine say something…
ABORIGINIE:
Ah, this conversation brings me back. I used to feel the same way.
TABATHA:
Thank you, but that wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Wait a minute… when did you go against the board?!
ABORIGINIE:
Well, I never actually did, but …but I thought of doing it. I was in the middle of waiting to hear if my grant from the board was going to be approved or not, when the thought came to me… revolution! But before I could really get plans or numbers together , the grant was approved, I was able to buy this warehouse and I started the Bravados. Since the Bravados was funded by The Board, obviously I had to abandon my rebellious thoughts. It's just as well, I really didn't have a real goal. I think there was something about the word, revolution, that sounded exciting to me when I was younger.
TABATHA:
But didn’t you date… oh what’s her face… Oh! Her name is at the tip of my tongue… you know … the woman… oh… um… you know she started that movement, 10 years back…
ABORIGINIE:
Oh! That’s right. Santae. Santae Della Blackfoot. So, I guess it was more for lack of nerve then opportunity. I wonder whatever came of her…
JETHRO:
Santae Della what?
ABORIGINIE:
You can’t tell me, you've never heard of her? The leader of the Heylatarian Movement? 10 years ago… started a revolution?
JETHRO:
Refresh my memory, I'm not up on my historically rebellious figures.
ABORIGINIE:
Santae Della Blackfoot was the leader of this fantastic movement. Well, Santae was her first name. Della is Heylatarian for ‘of the’, and Blackfoot is the Heylatarian group name, that she and her friends belonged to.
CECILA:
Heylatarians? What is that?
ABORIGINIE:
Well now they are this … underground organization that lives in the outer rural regions of Folleywood. Back then, and this dates way back when, before the bravados, before characters even had the right to apply for a character-writer permit, they were this wonderful rebellious movement. A group of un-used characters, and even some used characters, who were frustrated with the way The Board was running society. It was great! Oh, those were some wild times…
CECILA:
Wow… so what happened? I can't imagine the board would welcome this movement with such open arms?!
ABORIGINIE:
Well, at first, the Board ignored it, figuring it was just another passing whim on behalf of the characters, that we would get bored of it and it would end, just like everything else we did, but once they realized that this is not the case? Oh, the tension between the board and the Heylatarians … it was insane! The Board went literally on a mission to shut The Heylatarian Movement down. The Board were real bastards about it too. Santae Della Blackfoot, I mean, she had her home in Folleywood for ages, but all the sudden, The Board claimed that they needed the space for a movie and took it from her!
CECILA:
What?! They can't do that!
ABORIGINIE:
They shouldn't be able to, but,
yes. Yes they can. Board Law # 39746 or something like that. Any organization
that is considered a threat to The Board, The Philosophies of The Board and/or
the society that The Board governs, that organization loses rights to their
land and to own any land in the vicinity of Folleywood. She had no choice but
to either change her loyalty and work with The Board, and shall I say FOR The Board , or leave Folleywood all together, and that was what
The Heylatarians did. It was rumored that most of them died from starvation or
disease, though I am sure they are plenty of survivors, thriving in the
TABATHA:
That was a crazy crazy time…
ABORIGINIE:
Of course now… at best you can look in the Folleywood history books, there is maybe one paragraph at best about the Heylatarians, and even then, they are referred to as these drunken-junkie-heathen-anarchists from the great bowels of hell, in which The Board heroically conquered and destroyed, to save the goodness and humanity of their poor and kind society.
TABATHA:
I am so glad I was not apart of that. I would NOT want to live in the woods! I like my electricity! Working toilets are not a luxury. I need working toilets! I enjoy flushing!
JETHRO:
Ha!
Everyone smiles and stretches. .
TABATHA:
Ooh… my but is numb.
CECILA:
Jethro, what time do you have?
JETHRO:
I don’t know, I don’t have my watch.
Cecila looks out the window.
Wow! Is it night already? I didn’t realize that we were talking for so long!
ABORIGINIE:
You know what we should do? We should go out. C'mon, I'll show you the wild and thrilling sites of Boardian nightlife.
TABATHA:
You're taking them downtown?!
Grudgen: a dark and gloomy nightspot where they play live music. Everyone there has that “it’s hip to suffer” and “in order to make art, one must suffer” attitude. The band : THE BANAL DEMISE (all male group, early 40's.) is playing there tonight. THE LEAD SINGER OF THE BANAL DEMISE (whose real name is ZEUS-FRANCES, who no one dares to call him, has the potential to be a really good musician, but has let his destructive behavior get in his way) is singing a very experimental , dark version of "You are so beautiful" by Joe Cocker. Tabatha, Aborigine, Cecila and Jethro enter and look around. Absinthe, Raaalph and Exotica are there.
CECILA:
Wow, this is just like Iggy Katsune's house, only more populated.
JETHRO:
Ha! Now that's a scary thought!
Exotica comes up to the group, with a drink in her hand. Jethro's eyes nearly pop out when he sees Exotica, still dressed in neck to toe vinyl. Exotica eyes him up and down, which only makes Jethro more nervous. Exotica hands Tabatha her drink, as she smiles at Jethro.
EXOTICA:
Oh, and what do we have here?
JETHRO:
Hi, I’m Jethro.
EXOTICA:
I'm Exotica.
JETHRO:
Your name is Exotica? Is that your real name?
EXOTICA:
That is all you need to know.
Exotica takes his hand and leads him into the crowd. Jethro looks back at Cecila and shrugs his shoulders, he is a bit surprised by Exotica’s actions.
TABATHA:
How does she do that? I wish I had her confidence. Having that figure probably wouldn’t hurt either, and I am sure that wearing neck to toe vinyl, helps. Hmmm… I could wear vinyl. Actually nah, vinyl has a tendency to chafe.
CECILA:
Tabatha?!
TABATHA:
Or… so I've heard…
Tabatha sips her drink and smiles.
Tabatha is more wild then most people think. All the
sudden the lead singer of The Banal Demise (Zeus-Frances) jumps off the stage
and starts walking to Aborigine, Cecila and Tabatha.
THE
BANAL DEMISE SINGER (Zeus-Frances):
(sings)
You … are so… beautiful to me…
Everyone in the crowd starts to turn to Tabatha, Aborigine and Cecila. Turns to Aborigine.
(spoken)
Aren't you that girl that runs The
Bravados down on
Zeus-Frances starts singing again and gets back on stage before she can answer. Absinthe comes up them. It is obvious that she is on drugs again.
ABSINTHE:
You just got completely insulted by The Banal Demise …
TABATHA:
The who?
CECILA:
I thought beautiful was a compliment?
Absinthe laughs.
ABSINTHE:
Ha! You would…
Absinthe walks off. Cecila, and Aborigine look at each other and decide to leave Grudgen, they take Tabatha with her, who has since consumed a bit of a drink. Her tolerance is low, and she is a tipsy.
EXT. THE ROAD
OUTSIDE OF THE GRUDGEN. NIGHT.
CECILA:
Beautiful is not a compliment? I'm confused.
ABORIGINIE:
And now I remember why I don’t go downtown very much.
CECILA:
What was that? We didn't even do anything?!
TABATHA:
Cecila, do not let those… those… pig's asses upset you! Their opinions are nothing! I curse them! I curse them all!
Cecila begins to smile and laugh.
ABORIGINIE:
C'mon, let's go to the next spot and see if we have any better luck.
They come upon the next spot, called The Tea House, a very refined and fancy tea room, where all of used and un-used character members of The Traditionalist Movement go for a night out. It is also The Traditionalist Movement Headquarters, which is written on the outside of the building. Aborigine, Cecila and Tabatha peek through the front window and look inside. The Traditionalist Movement Members exclaim The Traditionalist Movement Belief System with great pride and vigor, and yet slurred speech for most of them are drunk or high.
THE
TRADITIONALIST MOVEMENT MEMBERS:
We shall fight to maintain Boardian Power at all costs.
We shall destroy any being, inanimate object and/or concept that is a threat to the ways of our society.
We will protect the land we own, and take the land we need, if it is deemed necessary for the improvement of Boardian Life.
We will obey the Boardian Class System, for it is right and true.
Those who abide by the ways of Boardian Law shall be blessed by Nature, while those who rebel and seek anarchistic pleasures shall be damned for all eternity, and thus shall be destroyed.
We will sacrifice other people’s comfort and happiness if need be for the sake and beauty of Boardian Life, for it is right, and it is our destiny.
They see Dracos and Alberto, who look up and smile at them and motion for them to come in. Everyone there is dressed up in tuxedos and top hats. Aborigine, Cecila, and Tabatha look at each other and decide to go in, despite hesitation.
INT. THE TEA HOUSE. NIGHT.
Time passes and Dracos, Alberto, Cecila, Aborigine and Tabatha are all sitting around a table talking with Dracos and Alberto's fellow traditionalist pals. Everyone at the tea house, although drunk and/or high, speaks in a very refined and poised manner. It's mostly polite talk. Long as the people in the tea house, cover their addictions behind a mask of aristocratic behavior, it is acceptable. Alberto puts his arm around Aborigine; he is drunk, and obnoxious.
ALBERTO:
This woman here, is a credit. A credit to the Traditionalist Movement. Lady Aborigine, is the head … is the head… of the… Bravados … which not only keeps the lowly un-used characters off the streets of Folleywood, oh wait, I'm an un-used character, ha… imagine that… where was I? Oh yes the Bravados … which in turn raises our property values, by keeping them off the streets, and also helps them find a purpose. Isn't that right, Lady Aborigine?
Alberto gives her a big wet kiss on the cheek. Aborigine is feeling uncomfortable, plus Alberto's breath reeks. Cecila looks around and notices a couple of people with a hookah, and that the tea-maker- who is Tola-Svetlana is behind the counter ,and is spiking all the tea. In the Tea House, one can be drunk or drugged as long as they look distinguished doing so, and as long as they do it with something that is costly and deemed worthy of an aristocrat.
DRACOS:
Please, brother, you are embarrassing her with your over-affection.
ALBERTO:
Oh don't be absurd! She loves it! What lady in her right mind, would not love a kiss from an traditionalist? Isn't that right?
Alberto gives Aborigine another wet one on the other cheek.
CECILA:
Alberto, tell me. If so many ladies adore the kisses from a drunken traditionalist, then would you like to explain why we are the only ladies here?
Alberto lets go. He is embarrassed but tries not to show it. Tabatha, Cecila and Aborigine gather their things and they head for the door. Aborigine, Cecila, & Tabatha exit, just as Dracos speaks.
DRACOS:
Damn you, that is the 10th set of ladies you have successfully managed to chase out of this tea room! I think you've had enough tea, brother.
Alberto drinks some more tea.
ALBERTO:
Sir Dracos, dear dear brother, do be a friend and shut up.
Aborigine, Cecila and Tabatha who are walking down the road to their next destination. Despite their sour social interactions, they are making the best of it and enjoying each other's company. They start to walk to their next spot.
Exotica has led Jethro to the backroom. Exotica is expecting sex and is advancing to him. It is like a hunt for prey. Jethro is nervous.
JETHRO:
So… how about that weather were having…
EXOTICA:
Jethro, I didn’t come here to discuss the weather, and either did you.
(A BEAT)
C’mon, you can not honestly say that you don't want me. I know you find me sexy. I know you want me. So why resist?
JETHRO:
Oh, yes. You are an incredibly beautiful woman, don't get me wrong , its just …
Exotica starts to get impatient.
EXOTICA:
It’s just what?
JETHRO:
It's not that I don't want to, believe me… I do… I really do, but it's just… Listen, I've seen this before. The woman gets piss drunk, and you loose all your inhibitions, and you go off with some stranger, and then you wake up the next morning, sobbing in utter regret, wishing you hadn’t done what you did, and I don't want to be one of those guys, who knows that, but does it anyway.
EXOTICA:
Please! I am not this little meek and mild mannered woman who represses her desires by day, but by night gets roaring drunk and becomes this vixen sex goddess, who then sobs to her therapist the next morning, oh boo hoo what have I done… again?
JETHRO:
Oh, really? Then what are you?
Exotica begins to advance on him again.
EXOTICA:
I'm a woman who knows exactly what she wants and knows exactly how to go out and get it.
Exotica pins Jethro down to the floor and kisses his neck, when he tries to kiss her on the lips, she pulls away.
Silly boy, these lips are reserved for a rare and few, and you are not yet worthy…
Exotica kisses his neck again. Jethro pulls away.
JETHRO:
Okay. I'm sorry. I can't do this, it's just getting a little to weird for me.
EXOTICA:
Oh, you know Jethro, fuck you!
JETHRO:
What the hell, Exotica?! If that is even your real name.
Exotica acts annoyed and hurt, but she is really just continuing the mind game and hunt.
EXOTICA:
You know, if you didn't find me attractive, you could have said so! You know, you're not so great! You're not the only man in this club!
JETHRO:
Oh! Well excuse me for being a nice guy! When I become a jaded jackass, whose past times and passions include taking advantage of really drunk women, I'll be sure to give you a call!!
Exotica turns around and looks at him strangely and laughs.
EXOTICA:
You are so weird.
JETHRO:
Actually, my name is Jethro. Pleasure to meet you.
EXOTICA:
I'm Exotica. Well,
(A BEAT)
So, Jethro. What DO you do for fun?
Aborigine, Tabatha and Cecila, are walking down the road. Joe is drunk as hell on a park bench, half unconscious, half sobbing, but they don't recognize him for he is usually dressed very stylish and now he is in ripped sweats and a dirty T-shirt. They come upon the third and last location of their night, The Prolific, which actually looks like a good place to go. Aborigine, Tabatha and Cecila are about to enter , when they are confronted by Don-Yaro Berger, who owns the place.
DON-YARO
BERGER:
Good evening, ladies. Welcome to The Prolific. This is a writers-only establishment. May I
see your writer's license or permit? Pft… I thought so.
Don-Yaro Berger slams the door in their face. Tabatha, Cecila and Aborigine sit down on a park bench. Tabatha is starting to fall asleep.
CECILA:
I can't believe it! THIS is all there is to downtown? There must be more! This can not be it!
ABORIGINIE:
There is more, it’s just an off night. Actually, wait. Is it? No, scratch that. This is it.
Aborigine yawns.
CECILA:
It's crazy because earlier today I was completely determined to apply for a character-writer permit, but now I think to myself ‘is that the path I really want to take’? Sure, I would have more status and, be able to write, but what good is that? When you're just another gear in the machine? I mean, the nerve! The outright snobbery! Nature! Is there no escape from all this bullshit facades and mediocrity? It's absurd!
ABORIGINIE:
Cecila, it's not as if , you enter Folleywood and you have no choice but to turn into this clique-ish, elitist, foreverly tragic idiot. You can make the conscious decision to not go down that path, especially if you are aware of the bullshit and mediocrity. I mean look at me, I've been around for ages, it seems and I still have my feet on the ground.
CECILA:
I don't get it. How do you do it. How do you put up with all these toads and facades, day in and day out?! I've been here for one day, and already I’ve had enough!
ABORIGINIE:
I don't know, I just do. Take The Bravado for an example. I've always felt that, sure they may be cruel, and act like the bravado doesn’t mean a thing, but deep down it does. They appreciate what I do for them. It's just not in their nature to show it. I just try to see the good in them, I guess.
Tabatha yawns and stretches. She is still a bit tipsy.
TABATHA:
What good? Why even put with up their attitudes and facades? We have a saying for people like them where I come from.
CECILA:
Oh really, what's that?
TABATHA:
Pigs asses! Oink! Oink! Oink! Ha! I just made that up! That was funny.
Tabatha laughs then starts to fall back asleep. Cecila giggles at Tabatha.
CECILA:
Well, she does have a point.
ABORIGINIE:
You're right. You know, sometimes… I am just too damn nice! I’m always giving giving giving to other people, who just do not appreciate and deserve my niceness and help. And you know what? That's going to change. I'll still be nice to the people who are nice to me, who deserve my niceness, but to the rest, I'm just gonna piss on their existence!
CECILA:
Ooh, calm down there solider, you don’t want to pull something!
Aborigine laughs a bit.
ABORIGINIE:
No, I am just going to be a little less naïve.
TABATHA:
Hey guys, I'm gonna start heading back, I'll catch you chicky-whickeys tomorrow.
CECILA:
Ha! Good night Tabatha.
ABORIGINIE:
Good night Tabatha.
Cecila and Aborigine stay at the bench and look up at the night sky. They both feel a sense of calm.
CECILA:
Now, THIS is my kind of scene.
ABORIGINIE:
You know, I could become a character writer…
The next day.
Around
Stella,
Did you hear the news?! A character has applied for a character-writer permit!
STELLA:
I know, I think it's wonderful! Did it say in the paper who it was?
Yes yes. Some woman named Aborigine…
AMADEUS:
Aborigine?! The founder of the Bravados?! I never thought I'd see the day! It's about time! I bet the remaining Bravados are pissing in their pants as we speak!
BOB:
Well, I think it's a disgrace! What about heritage? Just another Josephine Buoy want-to-be if you ask me.
STELLA:
Oddly enough, we didn’t ask you…
(A BEAT)
Oh, sometimes I wish I was an un-used character. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side, eh?
BOB:
Why in Folleywood, would you want to be one of those?
AMADEUS:
One of those, listen to yourself as if you were something better.
STELLA:
Well granted, Un-used characters have lower status then us used-characters, but they have freedom! If they want to apply for a character-writer permit, they have no other prior obligations to stop them from doing so. If they want to be in a story, they can go out and find one, but if they don’t, well, that is their option as well! Us. What do we have? We do whatever is written for us, we have no such options.
BOB:
We have something better then so-called freedom, we have a purpose! And besides, we could apply for a permit if we wanted to.
Bob, we are used characters, and as long as we are being used in a story, we can not do that. We are bound to our writers till they decide that they no longer have use for us, and then… then we are tossed aside like yesterdays garbage into Naturelyn, until we are released, and then we become just another un-used character, just like the rest.
Hmmm. That’s true.
BOB:
We become un-used characters? Oh nature,
Bob turns to Billows.
remind me to kill myself when that happens.
Stella ignores Bob.
STELLA:
Indeed, they are the lucky ones…
AMADEUS:
Well, speaking as a former lucky one, most un-used characters don't even appreciate the options and freedom that they have. They just sit around and complain and whine about the woes of life and how tragically tragic it all is, but they never do anything about it.
STELLA:
I wonder what its like to be a writer…
Stella,
BOB:
Oh would you look at the time!
Oh crap. Oh well, back to work.
They all groan and collect their things and leave their lunch table.
INT. FOLLEYWOOD
AWARDS. NIGHT.
Actress #1 stands on the stage and contemplates her worth and life.
ACTRESS
#1:
Hmmm… I could write…
INT. THE BRAVADO
WAREHOUSE. DAY.
Dracos and Alberto are arguing amongst themselves. Antoinette, Bernadette and Raaalph are just sitting there watching. Now that Aborigine has left, they don't have a plan of what they are going to do, and it makes them feel very uneasy. Alberto is mocking Dracos.
ALBERTO:
Hello, my name is Dracos,
DRACOS:
Shut up.
ALBERTO:
I'm the perfect man in every other way! Shake my hand, I'm Mr. anal!
DRACOS:
Shut up!
ALBERTO:
I fold my socks according to Boardian Etiquette regulations! I iron my underwear! No no… no wrinkles in my life!
DRACOS:
SHUT UP!
Tabatha enters, unaware of what just happened. Everyone turns around and looks at her.
TABATHA:
It’s Absinthe. She’s dead.
Scene goes back to last night where Absinthe is in her apartment. She is sobbing, and freaking out from all the drug-induced hallucinations she is seeing. We do not see the hallucinations that she sees. We just see her, completely flipping out, and intensely weeping. She reaches for the bottle of pills on her nightstand, but her body goes into shock, she can’t breathe, and eventually she dies.
ALBERTO:
Shut up, Tabatha! You’re just making that up!
Tabatha walks up to Alberto.
TABATHA:
No, Alberto! You shut up!
Tabatha pushes him, and his chair goes backwards and he falls, which frightens him. Everyone is shocked.
I am so sick and tired of you people acting like oh you're just so much better then the rest of us! That you can treat me like as you please, and put me down. Well I've got news for you toads, you are just as much of an un-used character as I am! No expensive clothes and drugs will ever change that! So, HA!
ALBERTO:
Toad, Absinthe can not be dead, we are immortal!
TABATHA:
HA! If you think it doesn't matter how much shit you put in your body! If you think you are immortal, well , then you're just the next one to go. I'll be sure to wear red to your funeral.
Tabatha exits. Raaalph turns to Antoinette.
RAAALPH:
Wow. I never knew she was like that, did you?
ALBERTO:
I… I… I don’t have to deal with this.
Alberto goes over and locks the door and sits back down in silence. No one speaks. Antoinette and Bernadette look at each other and slowly move their chairs away from Alberto.
There are scattered empty liquor bottles all around. Ever since the end of The Bravados, he hasn’t left his apartment. He is watching a movie, and is drinking heavily. He has received news of Absinthe's death and is grieving. He does not sob. But rather sits there blankly staring at the TV. A commercial comes on. A man in a suit is sitting behind the desk. Much like those low budget day time television lawyer commercials.
COMMERCIAL ACTOR #1, (male, 40’s) HAPPY CUSTOMER #1 (male 40’s)
COMMERCIAL
ACTOR #1:
Do you lack a purpose? Do you wish you had a reason to wake up every morning, but don't? Do you wish that you could be in a movie, but you never seem to get a role? Well you are not alone! Thousands of other characters, just like you, are coming to us to help make their dream come true. Who are we? We are Character-Life Incorporated. For only $19.95 , you can have a purpose! Just look how happy our customers are!
HAPPY
CUSTOMER #1:
I used to spend my days, drinking my life away, but now I have a purpose! And just look at me!
Happy Customer #1 is all the sudden dressed in diamonds, but licking the pavement.
I've never been happier in my whole life!
GIRL IN COMMERCIAL (female, 40’s) walks by. She notices Happy Customer #1 and smiles with lust / love at first site.
GIRL
IN COMMERCIAL:
Ooh, I just love a man with a purpose!
Happy Customer #1 grins at the camera, they smile at each other, and Happy Customer places one of his many diamonds on her finger. Discordant church bells are heard.
COMMERCIAL
ACTOR #1:
And this can all be yours! Just send 19.95, plus 4 dollars shipping and handling to Character Life Inc. 777 Goodlife Boulevard, Folleywood, Folleywood 70764 or call 1-800-PUR-POSE. Sorry no CODs.
Girl in Commercial & Happy Customer are on the pavement, enjoying their honeymoon.
HAPPY
CUSTOMER & GIRL IN COMMERCIAL:
Call today!
Joe is laying on the carpet, staring at the ceiling. He slowly drifts into fantasy. The fantasy is that Girl in Commercial is with him. They are in his apartment, laying on the carpet. She wipes the sweat from his forehead and smoothes down his hair. She is very caring , almost maternal.
GIRL
IN COMMERCIAL:
Oh Joe,
Girl in Commercial kisses his forehead.
what are we going to do with you? Dear sweet sweet Joe.
Joe starts to cry.
Awe Joe, don't cry. Awe, there there…
JOE:
I have nothing… my whole life … is nothing… and everyone knows it… everyone knows I don’t have any connections in Folleywood. My whole life is one big lie.
GIRL IN COMMERCIAL:
Awe there there Joe. Don't worry, you'll always have me.
JOE:
You'll never leave my side, will you?
GIRL IN COMMERCIAL:
Of course not Joe. I love you. I could never leave you. Why don't you close your eyes and rest. You've had a hard night.
JOE:
But… but…
GIRL
IN COMMERCIAL:
Shhhh… its okay, Joe. I'll be here when you wake up. Close your eyes…
Girl in Commercial holds him head on her lap and strokes his hair, he sobs himself to sleep.
I'll make you your favorite breakfast when you wake up, whiskey. Just like mama used to make, won't that be nice?
Aborigine, Cecila, Tabatha, they are sitting at a table at The Rump Café, where all the used-characters go for lunch on their breaks. There is a slight stir at the café for most have heard the news that Aborigine is going to apply for a character-writer permit and since un-used characters usually do not hang about this part of town. Stella and Billows are there having lunch. Tola-Svetlana is sitting at her own table, observing it all.
ABORIGINIE:
You what?!
TABATHA:
I pushed Alberto out of his seat!
ABORIGINIE:
Oh my nature, this is crazy!
CECILA:
That's funny!
ABORIGINIE:
Am I doing the right thing?
CECILA:
Just because she pushes Alberto out his seat?
ABORIGINIE:
Its not just that… its just everything is changing! I've been a un-used character for so long now, there is that, there is the bravados, I mean, Absinthe has died , no one has seen Joe for days, and everyone is looking at me as if I was some animal rarity!
TABATHA:
Listen , no character has applied for a character-writer permit in years, not since Lady Josephine, and it would be one thing if it was done everyday, but its not. It’s a big event in this town. People gawk, its in their nature.
ABORIGINIE:
Well fine, but I wish people would stop staring at me and pointing … ‘Ooh look there she is’!
CECILA:
Well, maybe they admire your bravery, ever think of that?
ABORIGINIE:
I'd hardly call it admiration when they mutter "toad" under their breath as I walk on by, just loud enough for me to hear it, but not too loud where they would make a scene.
TABATHA:
To hell with them. In a week or so, you will have your permit, and you will never have to see those envious toads again.
ABORIGINIE:
And if my application is denied? What will I do? I've already given up The Bravados… I'll have nothing.
CECILA:
No, you will never have nothing…
Aborigine pauses and contemplates for
a bit.
Pardon my intrusion, ladies, but the management has request your departure from this café.
CECILA:
What? Why do we have to leave? What did we do?
Please miss, don’t make me say it.
TABATHA:
Say what?
Oh…
BOGEY (late 40's, owner of The Rump Cafe. Bogey is part Heylatarian, but has strayed from his roots and has let ignorance mold his ways. He feels guilty, but wants to "fit in", he's afraid that if he goes against society, he might lose his business.) comes out.
BOGEY:
Did you get rid of the toads? Oh, they are still here.
The conversation has now become louder, and people in the café are starting to turn around, including Stella and Billows.
Bogey, why don’t we just let them stay?
BOGEY:
NO! I will not have their kind in my establishment.
Bogaet!
Turns to Aborigine, Cecila and Tabatha.
BOGEY:
Don't make me call The Guards, toad. I don't think that situation would do you well.
Bogey turns to
Go call the guards!
Do it,
No.
BOGEY:
No.
BILLOWS:
You heard em, toad woman! Go… go off into your lowly toadish world!
STELLA:
Oh, shut up Billows!
BOGEY:
That's it! I'll… I'll call the guards myself!
Tola-Svetlana walks up to Bogey, with a stern look on her face.
TOLA-SVETLANA:
Bogaet! N'ich h'neen! Oov sae neeve parahs oovs zey'et!
Translation: Bogey! for shame, you have strayed from your roots!
BOGEY:
Tola… please… no… no… I am just trying to run my business… I … I…
TOLA-SVETLANA:
Ra oov eet berouls, beine semae fahf roo heylas karvars'na'eyet?! Ra oov eet berouls, havae oovs moss'naenon, nyetkar ni beine s'mar, fahf beine comkaroofs etzarr?! Dom willat, oov karvars'na'eyet aonaton! Oov sae neeve! Oov sae neeve!
Translation: Do you not remember the time of our people's persecution? Do you not remember how your mother died in the arms of a guards wrath. And now you persecute another… you have strayed… you have strayed.
BOGEY:
Tola… I am sorry.
Bogey, stricken with guilt, turns to the crowd.
Everyone! lunch is on me!
Bogey laughs nervously and looks into Tola-Svetlana's eyes; she is very serious. Tola-Svetlana leaves.
Fef cirx moss'naenon!
Translates: Oh my mother!
ABORIGINIE:
A free lunch, sir, can not make
amends for a moment of persecution.
TABATHA:
You go, girl!
Bogey slowly backs away into the kitchen. Everyone goes back to eating their lunches and talking amongst themselves as if nothing ever happened. Aborigine, Cecila and Tabatha, leave.
They walk along the road casually, when all the sudden they hear Jethro calling after them. He is running and out of breath. They turn around and see him.
TABATHA:
Jethro!
JETHRO:
There you are! I've been looking all over for you ladies! First I went to The Bravado Warehouse, and that was locked! Did you know that some guy named Alberto has locked himself inside the warehouse with 3 other people?
ABORIGINIE:
Oh … what next?
JETHRO:
Well, there he was babbling on and on about something how you left the bravados and you weren't here and that you went to some café, so then I stopped by The Grudgen, and then all the other freakin’ cafés and nightspots in Folleywood, and finally I slowly made it uptown, only to find out that I missed you at some café called The Rump, or something like that, by 5 seconds and…
(A BEAT)
Oh, I am so glad I finally find you!
CECILA:
What's going on with you? You look frazzled. Where's… Exotica?
JETHRO:
Please, don't mention that name.
ABORIGINIE:
Uh-oh , what happened?
JETHRO:
Let me ask you ladies a question.
CECILA:
Alright.
JETHRO:
If you were a woman who only got attention and became involved with men who only wanted you for your body, wouldn’t you be happy to finally find someone who also wanted you for your mind?
TABATHA:
I feel a story coming on…
JETHRO:
Picture it. There we were. I was nice, she was drunk, she came on to me, I could have taken advantage of her and had sex that would have probably been absolutely amazing, but did I take advantage of her? Nooooo. Why? Because I'm a nice guy, and what is my reward for being a nice guy?
Jethro and Exotica are sitting on the floor, cuddling, eating snack food and talking.
EXOTICA:
Hmmmm… Jethro this is nice. I haven't done this in ages.
JETHRO:
Hmmm. This IS nice.
Exotica reaches over and gives him a kiss on the cheek. They cuddle and fall asleep. All the while, she is just playing mind games with him. She finds out what it takes to “capture” a person’s heart, does it, and then once she has it, does not want them anymore.
Jethro, Tabatha, Aborigine, Cecila are talking.
TABATHA:
Awe, that is so sweet!
JETHRO:
Yeah, well a lot of good it did me. I woke up the next morning , ready to have breakfast together, maybe discuss some day plans, and what do I find? An empty bed. I think okay, maybe she is in the bathroom, maybe she got hungry and fixed herself some breakfast, maybe she had to run some errands, so I get up and get dressed and I find a note , on the night table " Dear Jethro, you are a such a sweet and nice guy, you deserve someone better then me. I don't want to hurt you, but I know if we stayed together, that’s what would end up happening. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. Sid…”
CECILA:
Her real name is Sid?
TABATHA:
Awe, Poor Jethro!
JETHRO:
Yes, poor Jethro, I need love!
ABORIGINIE:
Awe, we love you!
They all give him hugs and affection. Jethro blushes.
JETHRO:
Thank you ladies. Just … do me a favor, the next time I see a beautiful woman and I start staring at her all starry-eyed, just hit me on the head … drag me away… just something. I've had enough of… beautiful women. They're beauty does not compensate for the torture they breed.
CECILA:
Ooh, that was poetic.
TABATHA:
You know, Jethro. Maybe you are going after the wrong type of women. Maybe you should go after … oh I don't know… women that don’t romp around in neck to toe vinyl. You know, I've heard that vinyl can chafe. I'm a cotton kind of woman myself
Is that so?
Tabatha and Jethro smile at each other. They all walk down the road.
Aborigine is going to go through the Board
trial to see if she is "worthy" of a character-writer permit. It is a
wild time in the
There has been a protest scheduled to take place outside of the trial, to protest Aborigine’s obtaining a character-writer permit, some (The Members of The Banal Demise) because they feel that Absinthe would have never died, if Aborigine had never left The Bravados. Some (Antoinette and Bernadette) who feel it was selfish of her to leave the bravados to pursue her own dreams. Some (from the Traditionalist Movement- including Alberto and Dracos) because they feel its wrong for a character to try to be a writer, (tradition IS tradition, and should stay that way). Some , like Tobias because he knows Josephine will be there is trying to get her attention, and Bob and Billows because they know that Stella and Coco are for Aborigine, and since they are jaded because the two ladies do not requite their affections, they are going against them.
Attending the trial are the following
characters: Cecila, Tabatha, Jethro, Stella,
There is a lot of press coverage of this event. There is a plethora of camera flashes as Aborigine walks up the stairs towards the entrance of the building. Press are asking her tons of questions, but she keeps on walking. Once she gets through the press, she has to deal with the protest going on, she holds her head up and walks in and takes her seat.
Meanwhile back outside the protest is in full force. The members of The Banal Demise play their protest song in memory of Absinthe, the girlfriend of Zeus-Frances, the lead singer of The Banal Demise. He is sincerely upset and stricken with grief, because he did love her. The members of The Banal Demise play this in the background as Antoinette, Bernadette, Tobias, Alberto, Bob and Billows hold various protest signs that read: No to Aborigine!, Toad!, etc. etc. etc., except Tobias' sign that reads "This Space For Rent" -- he couldn’t think of anything else to write on it.
Time passes and the trial is ready to begin. Cecila is sitting in the attending public section of the room, when she sees Josephine, her mouth drops wide open, but she can not make a sound because the trial is commencing. Josephine does not see her quite yet. Ferdinand, The Critic and The Interviewer who are the head of the board sit down.
FERDINAND:
Ladies and gentleman of the board. Characters, writers of all kinds, we join together on this rather unique night, to decide whether or not, one bold character, by name of Lady Aborigine, will rise from her lowly class status, and in turn become a character-writer. Whether or not you are denied this, that you so eagerly long to acquire, I… we all applaud you!
Everyone applauds.
Yes yes, clap clap clap. Lets get on it with, shall we? The trial will be split into several parts. First, a Q & A session, with questions supplied both by the members of the board and the writers. Second, we will hear testimonials from the attending public, and finally you’ll have the opportunity, though this IS optional, to make a plea in your own name, in a desperate attempt to obtain our approval. Very well. Lets carry on. First, the question and answers section. Writers, please have your questions ready when I call your name. Sir Don-Yaro, I do believe you are first.
DON-YARO:
Lady Aborigine, is it or is it not true, that you are applying for a character-writer permit?
ABORIGINIE:
Yes. Yes it is.
DON-YARO:
No further questions. She has my vote.
FERDINAND:
Thank you Don-Yaro for your oh-so, ehem, intellectual contribution to the trial…
DON-YARO:
If not me, then who else? Who else?
FERDINAND:
Right. Uh, next we have, Lady Eva Wielder. Lady Eva…
EVA:
Thank you Ferdinand. Lady Aborigine. Why do you want to become a character-writer?
ABORIGINE:
Well , you know, philanthropy has been my career and hobby, but writing is really my passion and I think I owe it to myself to explore those passions, which is why I am applying for a permit, so I may do so, legally.
EVA:
No further questions, Ferdinand.
FERDINAND:
Very well. Thank you Eva for asking an intelligent question, we now move on to Sir Iggy Katsune. Iggy…
IGGY
KATSUNE:
Aborigine. I do not. Have. like. the rest. questions. to ask. but rather. a short. performance. monologue. that I want. You. to dissect. To respond. to as hon-est-ly. as you can. If. you can, dig?
ABORIGINIE:
I think I do…
FERDINAND:
I don’t.
Poverty and Rabbit nod knowingly as if what Iggy said was just so deep. Iggy takes a piece of paper from his pocket and reads from it. As Iggy reads, a lot of people, in the attending public, roll their eyes.
IGGY
KATSUNE:
Do not. Blame! the frame, the frame, the frame! For the frame, my. daring dame. Is. nothing. More. then a square and wood. Décor-ating. the cen-ter of the scene. The pic-ture. the eye. Black eyes. Of. the. storm. this storm, blowing. Wind whoosh whoosh whoosh and whoosh. Wind, wind, wind! up the. red dress. of. this. So-ci-ety.
Iggy hands Aborigine the piece of paper. Aborigine is bewildered and speechless.
ABORIGINIE:
I… I… uh?
IGGY
KATSUNE:
Exactly. No. further. questions.
FERDINAND:
Moving on, our last question will come from Lady Josephine Buoy. Lady Josephine…
JOSEPHINE:
Right. Okay. Let's say you are writing a story about…
Josephine turns around and starts pacing back and forth, looking around the room and all about the attending public. All the sudden, she sees Cecila and her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. Cecila and Josephine's eyes meet,
CECILA!
CECILA:
Josephine!
JOSEPHINE:
I mean
Clears her throat.
um… uh… about a love affair.. er I mean a current affair… er events…uh
FERDINAND:
Lady Josephine! Will you please stop staring at the woman in the attending public, and focus on the task on hand!
Josephine turns bright red. She clears her throat and starts to pace back and forth.
JOSEPHINE:
Let me ask a different question. Now I imagine that if you should obtain your character-writer permit that you will be eager to create your first story. Have you written any stories in the past?
Josephine leans closer to Aborigine and mutters.
It’s a trick question, becareful.
She leans back and speaks in a normal tone.
Well, have you?
ABORIGINIE:
I have not written any stories in the past, not for lack of inspiration, mind you, but because it is against the law for a character to write a story without first obtaining their permit, and I have no desire to break the law, despite the desire to write.
Josephine leans over and mutters to Josephine.
JOSEPHINE:
Excellent answer
Normal tone.
I have no further questions, Ferdinand.
LADY JANE, LADY INEZ, and LADY ETTA (in their 50, Female musicians, mute by choice.) enter.
FERDINAND:
Thank you, Lady Josephine. The court will now hear from our Board Members, Lady Jane, Lady Inez and finally Lady Etta.
Times passes. Lady Jane, Lady Inez, and Lady Etta are sitting and silently staring at Aborigine. They have been doing so for a long period of time with no questions. Jethro and Tabatha, who are sitting in the attending public section of the room, whisper to each other.
JETHRO:
Why are they just staring at her? Aren’t they going to ask her any questions?
TABATHA:
No, Lady Jane, Lady Inez and Lady Etta do not speak. This is a test to see if Aborigine can withstand the pressure of silence and solitude.
JETHRO:
Oh.
There is a SHHHH… coming from the attending public aimed at Tabatha and Jethro. They stop whispering to each other. Meanwhile Exotica AKA: Sid is in the back row, staring at Jethro. He does not realize she is there.
Time passes. Its been 30 minutes and the attending public is getting very antsy, they are shifting in their seats and groaning from boredom. Lady Etta, Lady Jane and Lady Inez are still staring at Aborigine. Ferdinand looks at his stop watch/timer and stops it. Jethro & Tabatha start whispering again.
JETHRO:
And THESE are the people running our country?
TABATHA:
Yes. Scary thought isn’t it?
Ferdinand, finally breaks the silence.
FERDINAND:
Aborigine, very good. Lady Jane, Lady Etta, Lady Inez, I thank you for your time. You are dismissed for the evening.
Lady Etta hands Ferdinand a flyer, and urges him to read it out loud.
Ah, I have just been notified by
Lady Etta, that both her and Lady Jane and Lady Inez
will be performing traditional Boardian music tomorrow night in the town center
at
Lady Etta, Lady Jane, Lady Inez exit.
We will now proceed to the third portion of the trial, where anyone who would like to make comment in Aborigine’s favor or not, may do so now,
Cecila is about to stand up.
and no her friends may not make a comment in her favor, so sit down Lady Cecila. We are looking for unbiased testimonials.
Cecila sits back down. There is a silence amongst the attending public.
Is there anyone? Is anyone alive? Very well… we shall move on…
All the sudden the protesters (Tobias, Antoinette, Bernadette, Dracos, Billows, Alberto, Zeus-Frances & the members of The Banal Demise) come marching in and demand to be heard.
TOBIAS:
We request permission to speak, your Ferdinanship.
FERDINAND:
If you must…
TOBIAS:
Oh, I must! I must!
FERDINAND:
Very well, permission granted. I may regret this…
TOBIAS:
Ladies and gentleman, we are of the small minority, who feel that it is not right for a character to obtain a writer status. What about the heritage? Where is the pride? Oh the humanity!
Cecila stands up.
CECILA:
Pardon me Sir Ferdinand, permission to speak in response to what Sir Tobias just spoke…
Ferdinand nods.
Isn't it true, Tobias that you are just protesting, because Josephine is a writer and you want her for your own, but she has rejected you, and in truth really could not give a rat’s ass as to whether or not Lady Aborigine gets her character-writer permit?
Alberto mutters to Tobias.
ALBERTO:
Stay strong, stay strong…
TOBIAS:
Oh, it's true! Oh, it's all true! Josephine! Why don't you call me anymore? Utmost woe, I tell you, utmost woe! I love you!
JOSEPHINE:
Oh, you don’t even know me!
ANTOINETTE:
That is the last time we make him speaker for the group! Tobias, shut up! It is not about your poor broken heart, it is about The Bravados! Because, this woman is leaving the bravados, there are a lot of lost un-used characters roaming the streets with no place to go, as we speak!
JOSEPHINE:
Well, then why don’t you take over and run the bravados?
ANTOINETTE:
This face was not meant to serve the public. The public was meant to serve me.
BERNADETTE:
And me…
ANTOINETTE:
Well, that goes without saying, love.
ALBERTO:
Will you three shut up! Sir Ferdinand, permission to separate myself from these idiot’s comments.
FERDINAND:
Permission denied.
ALBERTO:
This is not about some stupid broken heart, or that bravado organization. It's about tradition! What has happened to tradition in our society? Don't you think that if Aborigine was meant to be a writer, she would have been born one?
CECILA:
But one has no choice what class they are born into, therefore I don't see why one should be forced to stay in their class, if they do not want to.
TABATHA:
Right on sister!
ALBERTO:
But it's not natural for a character to become a writer. I tell you it's just plain wrong!
ABORIGINIE:
But, this is my decision, not yours. If you don’t want to become a writer, then don’t become a writer.
ALBERTO:
Are you telling me to mind my own business? Have you forgotten who you are talking to?
DRACOS:
Alberto, sit down and shut up!
ALBERTO:
Don’t you tell me to shut up!
ANTOINETTE:
Oh nature, there they go again. Will you two stop fighting for once, this is neither the time nor the place.
BERNADETTE:
Really!
Dracos speaks in a mocking tone.
DRACOS:
Really! Really!
BERNADETTE:
Are you mocking me?
DRACOS:
Are you mocking me? No I would never mock YOU, Bernadette…
ANTOINETTE:
Don't you mock her, you toad!
Dracos and Bernadette start to argue.
TOBIAS:
Josephine! This is all your fault!
ZEUS-FRANCES:
Dammit , can’t you see, the woman I love is dead!
JOSEPHINE:
My fault?! You delusional twit!
TOBIAS:
If only you had requited my love, none of this mess would have occurred! You toad!
Cecila gets up walks over to Tobias.
CECILA:
Don't you call her a toad!
Zeus-Frances turns to Aborigine.
ZEUS-FRANCES:
He’s right, it is your fault! If you had never stepped foot into The Grudgen, Absinthe would be here today!
Jethro turns to Zeus-Frances.
JETHRO:
Oh, shut up!
Exotica stands up.
EXOTICA:
How can you be so insensitive, Jethro? The man is grieving!
JETHRO:
What?! How can I be so insensitive? HA! That’s a good one!
FERDINAND:
You may all shut up! You three!
Ferdinand points to Cecila, Jethro, and Exotica.
Go back to your seat and sit down!
Ferdinand points to Antoinette, Bernadette, Tobias, Alberto and Zeus-Frances.
Guards! Have them removed from these premises, they are giving me a headache!!
The guards remove Antoinette, Bernadette, Tobias, Alberto and members of The Banal Demise. They kick and flail and accidentally knock down Cecila in the process.
JOSEPHINE:
Cecila!
FERDINAND:
Josephine , sit down! You!
Ferdinand points to Jethro.
Help her up!
Jethro helps Cecila back to her seat. Cecila is a bit groggy but okay.
You are all a bunch of idiots! Now! Can we please have a little order in this room! Please! Thank you! Aborigine, due to current situation, I’ve changed my mind. You may not make a short plea on your behalf as to why you feel you deserve to rise in rank, to become a character-writer.
ABORIGINIE:
But… but…
FERDINAND:
Are you butting me?
ABORIGINIE:
Possibly…
FERDINAND:
Well, stop it. This house will take a short recess while the members of the board and the writers vote on your future. Toot toot. You may all leave now. Dismissed.
Aborigine starts to walk out.
Not you, Aborigine! You must stay here. But the rest of you go! Wait outside, I will instruct you when you all have permission to return. Oh! This power is not worth the headaches!
Everyone who was instructed to leave, leaves. Cecila looks back at Josephine and smiles. Josephine looks up and there eyes meet.
The next day. Aborigine, Jethro, Cecila and Tabatha are sitting in the same park where the story began. They are sitting on the grass, on a picnic blanket. The sun is shining and they are having an impromptu picnic. Aborigine and Cecila are a bit too nervous to eat. Aborigine is still waiting to see if she is going be approved for the permit, and Cecila is nervous because after the trial, Josephine and Cecila decided they should meet , and they decided that meeting around 4 or so is a good time to meet, in the park. Meanwhile at another part of the park, Josephine is with Eva talking.
EVA:
Josephine! Isn’t Cecila a character?
JOSEPHINE:
Yes , Eva, she is.
EVA:
And you are going to meet with her?! Josephine… you're risking it all… all that you've worked for a mere character! What will people say?!
JOSEPHINE:
Oh to hell with what people will say! I am so tired of all this class crap! Me and Cecila were together and then we were forced to part because of some stupid script, and now I am not going to let this stupid class system get in the way of us reuniting!
EVA:
Josephine!
Josephine gets up and starts to walk where she said she would meet Cecila.
Cecila, Tabatha, Jethro and Aborigine are chatting.
CECILA:
Am I dreaming?
JETHRO:
No, this is real.
CECILA:
This is silly. What am I doing here? You know if I left now, she'd never notice. What am I saying? Of course she would notice. Oh nature… I want to go home.
TABATHA:
Cecila…?!
Tabatha laughs
CECILIA:
I know, It’s just… I mean how do I know this thing between me and her is for real? I mean the only time we really spent together was during that story, and then you’re just following a script. What if all that I think we had… have… was some product of some writer’s storyline?
JETHRO:
Cecila! C’mon, I was there on the set.
[A BEAT]
You know it. You know you & Josephine were always more then some scripted characters. If I recall correctly, you were cut from the story, but still you two were together… spending all that time together. You two were inseparable. Hell, the only reason you two were forced to part was because she became a character-writer, and you got sent off to Naturelyn. You’re just… kindred spirits.
[A BEAT]
You two just had that connection and that… that my friend, that’s something that a writer can not create… or take away. It’s just there… naturally. And when two people have that, it’s something that will always be there. It’s just the way it goes. So… just breathe, Cecila. You’ll be okay.
CECILA:
No, you’re right. We did have something. I.. I don’t know, I guess … it’s just... if there is one thing I’ve learned in this existence, is that just because you’ve found a kindred spirit, it doesn’t necessarily mean, you’re meant to be together… romantically.
I mean, I consider you all to be kindred spirits of mine, but we’re all just friends.
[A BEAT]
So knowing that being kindred spirits, doesn’t necessarily mean, you’re supposed to be together with someone on that … romantic level… how do you know the difference? What if I was just so happy to find someone like me, that I mistook me and Josephine’s connection for romance?
JETHRO:
Well, I don’t know. What does your heart say?
CECILA:
My heart wants to be with her. It always has.
JETHRO:
Then there’s your answer.
Jethro & Cecila smile. Tabatha beams.
TABATHA:
Wow, you're reuniting with a past love, Aborigine is waiting to hear if she gets her permit or not. I never thought I'd be friends with such exciting people.
ABORIGINIE:
Please do not mention that word… permit. I wish they'd tell me already!
CECILA:
You’ll get it. I think it’ll work out for you.
ABORIGINIE:
I don’t know…
Eva who is sitting in the park, contemplating life and drifting in and out of fantasy, something she would never admit to doing but she does. Scene goes into fantasy. Eva & Amadeus are acting incredibly affectionate and sexual to each other, while laying in the grass in the park.
AMADEUS:
Isn't it exciting, dearest Eva? Who would have thought, that we could be so … rebellious and taboo.
EVA:
Hmmmm… it is deliciously deviant of us!
AMADEUS:
Two people from completely different classes… sneaking away when we think no one is looking…
EVA:
Yes, it is rather exciting, isn't it.
AMADEUS:
Yes, Eva. Yes it is.
Amadeus starts to kiss her neck.
EVA:
Oh, Amadeus!
Suddenly The Critic enters. Amadeus and Eva pause and looks up.
THE
CRITIC:
Well, look what we have here. Two secret lovers from different side of the tracks, shacking up together. How fashionably taboo of you, Eva. What will people say, when they find out that you have been sleeping with a character. A writer sleeping with a character! What were you thinking , Eva? He's only using you for your status… your connections. For heaven sakes, Eva. I thought you were wiser then that. But from the looks of it, obviously not.
Eva snaps out of fantasy and contemplates.
EVA:
You are such a fool, Eva. Just a fool.
Pulls out her phone, and contemplates calling Amadeus. Looks around to see if anyone is looking at her. Sighs.
JETHRO:
See ladies, my point is, that even if these things don't go the way you want them to, Cecila… Aborigine, it won't be the end of the world. I mean new things will come up… they always do…
CECILA:
He’s right! Pass the potato salad, my friend!
ABORIGINIE:
And me. Hey. I’m resourceful. I am sure if this permit thing doesn’t happened for me, I mean, hell, I started the bravados, I can find something else… I think...
JETHRO:
Exactly! Here you go.
Jethro hands Cecila a plate with a big helping of potato salad. Cecila takes a big spoonful into her mouth; talking with her mouthful.
CECILA:
Yummmmm… oh that is good, if there was a potato salad heaven, I’d be there as we speak!
Josephine arrives and stands by blanket.
JOSEPHINE:
Cecila?
Cecila looks up with a mouthful of potato salad.
CECILA:
HMMM?!
Mary-Mary Calumny, (whose a member of the press) happens to walk by.
MARY-MARY
CALUMNY:
Oh! This would make a wonderful shot! May I? Thanks. C'mon. Everyone smoosh together.
Cecila swallows her potato salad. Everyone brushes themselves off and wipes their mouth. Cecila and Josephine look at each other and smile. Everyone gets together for the picture. Everything pauses.
“Just as one has the power to dream of better times, one has the power to better their reality.”
Everything resumes. Cecila and Josephine kiss. Mary-Mary Calumny gets ready to take a picture.
MARY-MARY
CALUMNY:
Won-der-ful! And Smile!
"Lady Aborigine gets her
permit!"
"Inter-class dating!
It’s hip to be taboo!"
Carma has a big smile on her face. She coughs.
THE END